When you live in a small place like Amman; its likely that wherever you go, you will run into people you know or knew at a point of time.

This happened to me lately in two different occasions, and boy they were different.

The first time; it happened at Safeway where I usually do my grocery shopping. I was so absorbed in my task going through the place and walking from one aisle to another to find my stuff (on a side note; this has become a difficult thing after the expansion they did; Safeway now is too big!). Anyway; while I am doing that; I hear someone calling my name. I turned around to come face to face with someone I really wanted to erase from my memory.

She was standing there with her family surrounding her; her husband ogled me and then left her side pretending to look around, and to tell you the truth; I never thought about why he did that, because I couldn't care less.

I really did not know why she wanted to talk to me; after all; we were not friends, we have nothing in common and she never approved of my "actions" back at uni.

I wished I could have turned away and just left her standing there; but being the polite me; I shook her hand and smiled, and she started chit chatting about her work, her life, her kids … blah blah blah

I haven't seen her in 11 years, and all she could ask me was: did you gain some weight?

Did I gain some weight??????

God! What a stupid question! As if it is not so obvious that I did gain weight.

She did not ask about where I work, or if I got married or what I am doing now or if I am seeing some of the old friends … NO!! she just was interested in my weight!!

For a moment; I thought: how do you answer such a question? And I decided to go for the simplest form of an answer and said: yes, I did.

If I told her that I am suffering from a bad case of lazy thyroid; and that stupid doctors of Dubai gave me wrong medication for a year … etc., she would have thought that I am justifying my situation in fear of her judgment, so I decided to keep my mouth shut and say bye with a smile.

The second time happened today, but it was Cozmo this time. I heard her calling my name and I turned around to see an old friend whom I lost contact with a long time ago; I was actually happy to see her. She introduced me to her son (5.5 years, pretty face and nice hair), he smiled and kissed me saying hi aunti. WOW! I really loved the kid. We talked and exchanged numbers to keep in touch from now on. It was a pleasant 5 minutes, and it felt like we were never apart.

What is so amazing about this is that I realized that I have the same feeling towards these ladies as I had a decade ago; the one I liked I still like and the one that stood on my nerves; well, she still does.

This makes me think about reunions. If we ever have one; would I be interested to go? Would I be comfortable seeing people I almost forgot about? Am I willing to put myself in a situation where I am judged according to how I look or my marital status or any shallow standard that shadows the way we are perceived?

Come to think of it; why would I do that? And what would be the gain? Do I need anyone's approval to feel successful?

Well the answer is NO! N and O

That was a stage, and it is over. There is no need to go back and open closed wounds, because if you do; you will never know what you are going to get.