Yesterday and today were really something to blog about and that’s exactly what I am doing now! My day yesterday started out with almost falling out of bed after the long weekend and although I did my best to sleep earlier than usual, I really needed another couple of hours to make me human again, but eh! Sleeping does not pay the bills, does it?

After performing my morning rituals of getting ready; I headed out of the door with my sister. It was her first day at her new job and I had to give her a ride, naturally! But to do that, I had to change my daily route in order to drop her. I work in Sweifieh and she on third circle, so I drove from Sahab to the 3^rd circle and then I had to deal with the traffic from there to my office. Needless to say; I arrived at work so depressed and tired; not a good way to start the week!

Work day officially started and things became normal for a while. Some of the team members were at Webex preparing for the opening as we are one of the event sponsors. We were all supposed to be there so we headed towards Hayyat Hotel in the afternoon, my colleagues 7ala, Rasha and Wedad rode with me. Wedad suggested that I park at Zara and since it is my first time there (believe it or not), I did exactly that.

We were stopped, searched and checked; so were the car and our purses. After we were finally allowed in, we took the elevator to the floor that hosts the exhibition but I had to go get my badge and papers for the IAA conference that I am attending the next day; i.e. today!

Calling the lady who called me in the morning to ask where I was supposed to pick them up was of no use; she said go to level B, I asked in which tower? She said: who is this? I identified myself and my company and then she says: is Nisreen there with you? Who the hell is Nisreen and what does this have to do with my question? She said: ok no problem, thank you and she hung up!!

I was fuming and started talking to my cell phone repeating the word; stupid, stupid, stupid!!! I went down all levels and then climbed up again; no use! Finally; I came across someone who recognized me from VIVA article! He introduced himself and strange enough; I had just come across his blog that very same day! Although he works for Maktoob (kidding), but I think that God was looking after me at that time!

Samer told me that I had to go to the hotel to get the IAA papers and complete my registration and off I went. Anyone who knows this hotel well will know that it is not a picnic in the park; it was a long walk! Finally; I arrived that Level B and was able to complete the task I came for, and then headed back.

I had set up an appointment with my dear friend Lina to show her a catalogue of traditional dresses that my mother makes and met her at our booth at webex. We took a small tour around and out of no where; an elderly guy comes to me and insists that he talks to me. I thought that he was about to ask me why I was taking pictures or that he will pitch me about something technical or give me a brochure, but no, it was none of the above. The main reason he wanted to talk to me was that he has a cure for my obesity! He has some magical recipe that will turn me overnight into Miss Jordan; that is if we had one! I said: thank you but I am really not interested, he said: but I can prove it to you, I said: thank you but I really don’t want to, he said: are you sure? It will make you lose weight and I said for the last time: I really, really don’t want to know about it.

Lina was shocked how he had the courage or the nerve to approach me like that and I told her that I am used to these nice gentlemen trying to cure my problem for me; every time I go downtown; someone pops up with yet another magical recipe to lose weight. Lina said that this is worth blogging about and here I am!

She said that she is happy with how I deal with the issue and I told her that I had learned to come to terms with my weight problem and accept these gestures with an open heart and not take them as insults. It took me four long years to understand what lazy thyroid, PCOS and hormonal imbalance really mean and I am doing my best to work on the consequences of all of the above, so I am not going to worry myself with little intrusions like that one.

After I showed Lina the stuff I brought and I hope she liked them, I gave her a short ride to the front of the hotel where she had parked and found my sister waiting for me there, took her and drove to Jebal Al Hussein were I bought some shoes; I promise you that if I did not desperately need to do that, I wouldn’t have gone but that was that.

Finally home at 10:30 and already feeling dead, I saw the family a bit and then tucked in my bed at around 12:00, I was ready to sleep deeply.

I woke up this morning at 7:00, showered and thankfully did not slip like Hala did, and made it out of the house at around 8:00. I dropped my sister at her work and headed back to Hayyat Amman Hotel to attend the first day of IAA conference. This was a whole day event with interesting speakers, but talking about it will have to take another post; probably tomorrow. All I remember now is why the hell did I have so many things in my bag? Boy! it was really heavy! Right now; I really want to get some rest because I had a really long couple of days with little rest in this hot weather; God save us in the summer!

It is not a secret that unemployment is one of the major problems in Jordan. This is a topic that has been discussed many times and it touches the lives of almost everyone in this country.

The percentage of educated individuals is continuously increasing and the number of schools and universities is on the rise as well; this is one of the successful trades and business models in Jordan and despite that the education fees are exploding every year; more students are enrolling and more graduates are pouring the workforce on yearly basis. However; the business market takes its need from fresh graduates which is only a fraction of the real number, leaving the rest of the graduates to fall in the trap of unemployment and total dependency on one's parents till a miracle happens.

We cannot put all the blame on the business sectors; job seekers must bare their share of the responsibility and blame.

First of all; the expectations of these students are not being managed properly; there is no career consulting services in universities; one that prepares students for the real world, so the student approaches senior year with high hopes piling up in his mind and heart to own the world upon graduation.

Of course; it would be unrealistic to think that all graduates will find opportunities on the spot and start their working life immediately after leaving university; only the lucky ones get such golden opportunities and get ahead of the others. On the other hand; our typical Jordanian student does not want to put any effort to put his/her first step on the ladder and they think that graduating is good enough to be chosen for any job they apply for when by far it is not.

In our culture; there are many factors that play major roles in forming this phenomenon; to name a few; culture focusing on shame, spoiled kids, unmanaged expectations, lack of student preparation to the working life and many others.

A thought comes to my mind as I write this; we are raising our kids to be dependent, we do not teach them to be responsible since early age, accountability has no known meaning in our lives and we do not prepare them to be the future men and women. Since early age; we do everything for our children and we give them everything they need when they need it; all they have to do is ask and they get it without putting any effort or doing anything. The idea that someone has to work in order to get something is not a factor in the way we raise the future generation and by not doing so, we are preparing them to fail, not to succeed.

One of the things that we make sure our kids must know; is that there are ranks and levels in the community. Some jobs are just considered low level and they are interconnected with poverty and shameful roles; they are beneath our sons and daughters and unconsciously we teach them to disrespect those who perform them and consider them beneath us as individuals when all people are supposed to be equal. They grow up thinking of the garbage guy as someone who is needy enough to accept this role and they forget that without him, we wouldn't have a clean city to brag about.

We teach them that it is more important how people perceive you than making a living; so in their mindset; it is ok to stay jobless for years than to work in a construction site or as a waiter, driver, guard or any other low level job.

Mothers work hard to add a prefix to their children's names as if they would not be proud of them or love them the same if they grew up to be just them. Unconditional love is a concept that we don’t recognize and we grew up to believe that if I am not successful enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, handsome enough, whatever enough, people would not love or accept us and we continue to pass this myth from one generation to another.

I can continue to rant forever about this issue, but it would be pointless if no one will hear. If we continue to put more weight on people's opinions in what we do and how we live our lives, we will never rise up to everyone's expectations and standards, hence; we continue to stress ourselves with imaginary standards that we must meet, turning our lives into a rat race, but one that has no finish line.

It is not shameful to work, it is not shameful to start somewhere, it is shameful though; to continue to be a dependent person living off the effort of others, it is also shameful to look down on people who proudly handle jobs we consider beneath us because without their work, our lives would never be the same.

Today is the day you must wake up Jordan and do something to build a better tomorrow!

I just came back from Jordan Planet’s meet-up for the month of May and I really had so much fun today. It was not a large number, and every one got engaged in different discussions and shared some good laughs.

We had the meeting at Salad House in Abdoun; I really like this place as it is quiet, food is great and the service is above average, so we chose it to host our meeting for this month and it was a good choice after all.

I was in a social mood tonight and I enjoyed the chats I had with all fellow bloggers; it is amazing how you always find something to talk about with people who have so much to say and share with others, so when you are a part of s bloggers’ meeting, silence is just not invited.

Some of the bloggers who attended do not belong to Jordan Planet yet; however; they applied and awaiting approval such as my friend and colleague 7ala and my other friend Fadi K.

It was a small meeting and it was lively especially with Laith Majali as a part of the group; this guy really knows how to stir an audience and I am glad we had the meeting with him in town.

A lot of the regular attendees were a no-show this time but it is quite understandable with the long weekend and the special occasion. Speaking of which; Amman was buzzing with activity tonight, and like every year; Fastlink held its fireworks fiesta in Abdound, Al Hussein Gardens, Jabal Al Qal3a and Al Qwaismeh. Cars were decorated with the Jordanian Flag. Even some of the bloggers like Jad and Laith Majali left early to go to Al Hussein Gardens to attend the musical celebration and fireworks, and I asked them to take a lot of pictures but not to use flickr when they post them on their blogs so that fellow Jordanian bloggers in KSA and UAE can see them because of banning flickr in these countries; they promised they would do that!

A funny thing happened; all through the meeting, Roba repeatedly declared her desire to get a flag, and as we were going out, my sister’s friend gave her a ride so that she can go home with me, and he had 2 flags; a big one that he spread on the back seat of his car and a small one that was posted on the rear of his car, so I snatched the latter (after his permission of course) and made Roba’s wish come true!

Roba, that felt so cool!! 

Here are some pictures from tonight, and Happy Independence Day Jordan!

Ibrahim Yaqti and Abdelaziz

Jad Madi taking a picture of me :)


Nadir, Mira, Roba, Hala and Fadi K


Jad Madi and Laith Majali

I really loved loved loved this picture :)

Ever since I was a little girl, I heard everyone around me cheering when Jordan’s name was mentioned and I could not understand what the fuss is all about. I got it that we live in Jordan and where it is located on the World’s map and most importantly on the Arab World map. It was emphasized many a time in our family that we are Jordanians and proud of it, but I couldn't understand what it means to be a part of this country or what it means to belong to it.

As I started my school, my mother used to write me patriotic speeches to give in memorial days and she used to make me rehearse it in front of her tens of times to make sure that I got all the words right and that I had the right tone of voice. She taught me where I should raise my tone and what phrases I should repeat.

I enjoyed these sessions because they always ended up in cheering from students and my teachers were so proud of me and of my talent and ability to charge the audience as they used to say.

All that was like a part of life, it was normal and I never thought about what it means to belong to this country, what does it mean to be Jordanian?

Growing up was a continuous exploration activity on my part, I kept hearing the cheers in the background but I did not know if all those who cheered understood what they are actually cheering for. I kept wondering; do they celebrate being Jordanians because they love Jordan and have the sense of belonging to this country? Or they were doing it because they were trying to prove a point to others?

It kept going through my head; if you really loved your country, you would do things that make your country a better place to live in, you would love it enough to preserve it, you will care about its future that you will give your all to make it a place that will host the future of your kids and the generations to come. If you loved your country enough, you would work harder on yourself to give it back some of what it has given you. Your country, any country in the world, needs its sons and daughters to be doers, not just cheerers.

The first time I realized how much I loved this country was when I lived abroad. Every step I took out of the place I used to live in was a step into the unknown. It almost felt like walking in the dark without any lights to make you see where you are putting your feet. I realized that what I missed the most was the feeling of being a citizen, a national of my own country. I felt that a part of my dignity was lost when I decided to leave my home, my family and my whole country behind.

I thought I was making a smart thing by seeking a better opportunity in a country that imports our talents and brains. I kept fighting the sinking feeling that I made a horrendous mistake when I left my world behind and sought the unknown. I cannot begin to describe the depression I had to go through, the ongoing phone calls that sent me straight to bankruptcy, when one day and out of nowhere, an idea popped in my head; what was I trying to prove and to whom? Why am insisting on torturing myself when I know exactly what is wrong? I was homesick; it was that simple, and at that very moment, I knew how I felt about Jordan and I knew how much I have been unfair to this wonderful country, and at that moment in particular, I decided I was coming home no matter what the cost was. Less than a month later; I was home.

The minute I set foot in the airport, the air smelled different, the colors looked different and even the frown on the police officer’s face looked good and I realized that I had missed everything about Amman, right down to the gloomy faces and lack of sense of humor. Although I don’t believe that this is true, but I missed it anyway.

On this day; the Independence Day, I declare my love, commitment and dedication to you, Jordan.

To Jordan … With Love!

كلمة حلوة وكلمتين ... حلوة يا بلدي

نظرة حلوة ونظرتين ... حلوة يا بلدي
 

كل عام وكل الأردن بألف خير

It is summer time again and the season is taking people by a craze. A lot of people, couples mainly, have been waiting impatiently for the summer because it is the time of the year when families reunite and the fun begins; there is no better time to tie the knot and finally get married.

Not a single day passes by without receiving an invitation card to attend a wedding of a relative, friend, coworker or even an acquaintance. The funny thing is that you are always expected to attend because this is what the social etiquette tells us to do. Once you subconsciously make the decision to attend, you need a new dress, a beauty salon hair style and makeup and above all, you need to extend a suitable gift.

All this is great when you really care about those getting married, but what happens when you know them only casually, or they are family friends that you probably won’t ever see again in your lifetime? What then? Should you or should you not go?

Every time I attend a wedding, I come out with the same conclusion; what a waste of money!!

So what does make a typical wedding in Amman???

Let’s forget about the residence and its furnishing, rent and whatever a house needs for a moment, and let’s just focus on the wedding party itself.

In order to have a wedding like the daughter of aunti Suha or even a better one than that of the son of 3ammo Jamal; you need to make sure that you have the following:

You need a royal wedding dress. When I say royal; I mean it, you hear me? I mean it! It has to be of silky fabric and hand decorated. The corset and skirt need to make you look like a princess; anything less than that and you will look so poor and as if you had rented the thing, shame on you!

For your groom; you need a suite of a tycoon. Shoes must match. It has to be the right size; that’s why you have to have it tailored especially for him. All accessories must be bought from global brand names because people can tell the difference you know! The tie, cufflinks and tie pin should all be original.

Now you need someone like Marwan Kheir to give you the princess look. The wedding dress will not do you much good if not matched with a great hairstyle and a makeup that hides all your face imperfections and make you look like a movie star.

Let’s talk about the party!

First of all; it has to be in a five stars hotel, because that’s where your friend Soso had her wedding last year. Flowers should be everywhere and it must be natural flowers; we don’t want people to think that we are vulgar and do not know how to plan a great wedding party. As for music, it must be the best DJ in town or better yet; get one of the hot shot performers out there; Haifa would make the wedding memorable if only she was not more beautiful than you; people will forget about you and will keep staring at her and we don’t want that on your own wedding, so it is much better to get a guy. Also a belly dancer is out of the question because we don’t want her to steal the lights now, do we?

Now, what about the buffet? It has include various dishes because people have different tastes, we don’t want them to say we are mean, so make sure you include Jordanian, Syrian, Lebanese, Egyptian, Italian, Chinese, and maybe some Indian and don’t forget about desserts. Speaking of desserts, the wedding cake should be different because it reflects your taste and identity so don’t be typical!

All that and I still did not mention the ring/”shabkeh” and the bedroom furniture as these should be out of the way by now!

Is the period of 4-5 hours worth all that? Do people get high on spending their money that way? Does all this make him a better guy or her a better lady? Will this help them face the first few months of their married life when they get to know each other? Will that make them a happier couple?

No wonder that more guys are choosing to wait longer before falling in the trap of marriage and no wonder that more girls are entering the world of spinsterhood! I say it is a trap because that’s all what guys see, they do not see a woman they love and want to be with her no matter what, rather they see an empty bank account and probably a load of loans to be paid back; trust me, this is no way to start a life!

If love really existed between couples, none of these empty “keeping up appearances” actions would make any difference to them. They would take the money they have and go launch their life as a couple on a far island where they can spend a few days away from people and really make happy memories and lots of pictures to document them.

To me, a wedding is nothing more than dressing simple, having your closest family and friends around you and then a great long honeymoon, now that’s what I call a great wedding and that is exactly why I have boycotted all the weddings I get invited to, unless it was someone very special or if I had to attend.

Don’t you think this makes a lot of sense? I mean tootsense??

Great caricature by toot's and syntax's one and only; Wael Attili or best known as Sha3teely!!

Thank you Wael for allowing me to use this on my blog!

What is so special about friends? Why do they hold such a high rank in our lives?

When we are born, we do not get to choose our parents or family, we do not get to choose our names, we do not even get to choose our culture or religion as these are all pre-determined by the two people who got together and decided one day; it is time to bring us to the world.

I am reading a nice book these days and in the first chapter; the author asks the reader to imagine that one day he wakes up to find himself in land of giants. They all speak a language he cannot understand, he cannot communicate with them, they laugh at the sounds he is making, he cannot eat their food and all he can get is what they give him. They carry him around and make funny faces at him and then roar with laughter.

Then one day, he finds other individuals that have the same size as him, and they speak his language as well. They eat the same food and share the same interests. From that moment onward, one discovers what friendship is all about.

Friends are those people who understand you in the land of giants, they are those who share your concerns and joys, they speak your language. So, it comes as no surprise that friends play a major role in our lives; we cherish them more than family members at times because we got to choose who our friends are.

I had my share of good friends; I have beautiful memories that are my resort when I feel lonely and sad. I remember all the times we sat and laughed when we did not have worries in life. We used to go out and share everything; our laughs were from the heart; honest as the emotions that tickle your heart when you have a crush on someone.

Days went by and life stole each of us in a different direction; each had a new life and a new path to follow; our paths no longer crossed and we all went on in opposite destinations. It is only rare that you find someone who has the desire to keep the paths crossed despite obstacles, and no matter how hard it is to be consistent; they always find a way to communicate and keep in touch.

On the other hand; there is the other kind of friends. These are the ones that have temporary friendships that end with the stage and whenever you run into them again; you feel like they want to hide or they are not thrilled to see you or even are a bit upset.

One of the episodes of “Sex and the City”, Carrie calls this type “frenimies” as they are neither friends nor enemies; they happen to be a mix of both. I really don’t know when some of my friends turned into frenimies; we just drifted apart and we no longer felt comfortable around each other and with time; we just stopped contacting each other altogether. I know it is sad but that’s the way life goes and only those who are true friends do stick around for the hard times as well as the good ones.

I babbled enough here; and all I want to say is that I really miss my friends!

Inspired by Hareega’s post; Look Around, I remembered that a couple of years ago, I saw a flash movie that depicts earth as a small place of a population of 100 people, keeping the percentages and proportions exactly the same.

You want to know the shocking statistics and how lucky you are? Click here to watch the movie!

(You need flash to view the movie)

"5/2/2006  

The General Assembly of the Fédération Equestre Internationale (FEI) elected today HRH Princess ‎Haya Bint Al Hussein of Jordan as the 13th FEI President. The other contenders for the position ‎were HRH Princess Benedikte of Denmark and Freddy Serpieri (GRE).

The voting took place over two rounds; Princess Haya received 82 votes in the 2nd round.

‎“I promise to do everything in my power and to work tirelessly to serve the institution and the ‎people who have done me the honour of placing their trust and belief in me. Our beautiful, noble ‎sport is seeped in tradition, history and grace. I will do all I can to protect and advance it, in all its ‎forms,” HRH Princess Haya said. ‎

HRH Princess Haya Bint Al Hussein (JOR) is the daughter of the late King Hussein of Jordan and wife ‎of HH General Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Crown Prince of Dubai. She has been ‎riding internationally since the age of 13. In 1992 she won the individual bronze medal in Jumping ‎at the seventh Pan Arab Games and the following year she was elected Jordan’s athlete of the year. ‎After years of intensive training in Ireland and Germany, she qualified for and took part in the ‎Games of the XXVII Olympiad in Sydney in 2000 followed by a participation in the 2002 FEI World ‎Equestrian Games at Jerez de la Frontera. She has represented Jordan at the FEI General Assembly ‎on several occasions. HRH Princess Haya is member of the IOC Athletes and Culture and Olympic ‎Education Commissions and president and founder of the International Jordanian Athletes Cultural ‎Association. She is the first Arab and first woman to ever become Goodwill Ambassador for the ‎United Nations World Food Programme. ‎

HRH Princess Haya has been elected for a term of four years, i.e. until 2010." ‎

This is really a breath of hope to all of us in the Middle East in general and for us Jordanians in particular. We all know and acknowledge that Oprah is such a media giant and her influence cannot be doubted or ignored; I personally admire and adore this strong lady and think of her life legacy as a role model to all women out there. Queen Rania, our Queen Rania, was interviewed by Oprah and from what I read; the show was a great success and I cannot wait to see it myself.

Unfortunately; we did not get to see the show, but our fellow bloggers in the New World had this chance and gave us great feedback on their blogs; refer to Memories Documented for more details.

The reason I wanted to post about this despite I did not watch the show, is that I wanted to emphasize my deep admiration to our beloved Queen Rania. I adore her personality and her approach to raising awareness both internally and externally. Indeed; she is the best ambassador any country can wish for and we are blessed to have her as our queen.

I must say that having a young king and queen has its great advantages and we are reaping the benefits already. The positive change that the country has witnessed in recent years has put Jordan on the global map and instead of being just another third world country; Jordan is recognized as a leading country and plays a major role in the region’s stability.

I read in the Arabic Magazine “Laha” that Queen Rania has been elected as one of the most 100 influential people in the world for 2006, and I am so proud of her and happy that she is showing the world the beautiful face of Jordan and Jordanians.

A disturbing accident took place in Madaba last Wednesday afternoon! This 2.5 year old boy took a fatal action on the roof top of his family residence while he was accompanying his mother. The shocking news state that this boy approached a wire protruding from the high voltage lines only to be electrified in a way beyond repair; he lost his right arm from the shoulder and doctors are debating to amputate his left leg as it is burned to the bone. [Source]

As I was hearing this piece of shocking news on Al Wakeel’s Radio Show; Bisara7a Ma3 Al Wakeel, I felt sick to my stomach for the negligence and carelessness we have; exactly whose responsibility is it that Barakat is lying on a hospital bed in the ICU, armless and might also lose his leg? Is it the responsibility of the Electricity Company? Or the house owner? Or the mother herself who is in a state of nervous breakdown till now?

On the show; it was mentioned that the high voltage lines are as close to the roof of the house as 35 cm only. It was also mentioned that the boy reached it with his bare hand and in another story; he was holding a pipe.

It is also worth mentioning here that this is the third accident of this kind in Madaba this year only, so do we see a pattern here?

I wish Barakat to get well soon and may God bless his family with patience and endurance.  

I posted last week about VIVA Magazine being pulled out of the market after being distributed. How do I know that? Obviously I got the magazine the first time it was distributed when lots of my friends could not find it any where.

After asking and looking deeper to find the magazine, I learned that it was pulled because of some controversial articles that were featured in this issue. I made a decision then and there to talk about this subject and get the word out to all interested people out there that there are some information that was meant to reach us and for some reason it was blocked censored.

Let me clarify one thing here before I give you a chance to read the articles; I posted about this before and am posting about it now because I believe in transparency. Solving problems in society always begin with recognizing them and accepting that there is a problem to begin with and getting out of the denial to work on our issues from the roots.

So, regardless of my personal opinion about the articles and their content, I believe that everyone has the right to read them and make up their own minds about them, therefore; here they are, since the censored issue is already in the market, so you have something to compare to:

Or might I say the ladies of the World Cup?

The Sun UK stated the following: ATTENTION all women - this story just might save your marriage, relationship or boyfriend's sanity during the World Cup.

Below is a list of vital rules for girls wanting to share a home with a footie-mad fella this summer.

In an emotional plea, the men of the world have laid out the dos and don't-you-bloody-dares of tournament viewing which you can print out and stick by your telly.

These include vital pieces of etiquette from beer-in-fridge planning to schoolboy rules like when not to say 'it's just a game'.

LIST OF RULES

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the The Sun's sport pages so you are aware of what's going on regarding the World Cup and will be able to join in conversations.

If you fail to do this, you'll be looked at in a bad way or be
totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup the television is mine at all times - without any exceptions. 

3. I don't mind if you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game - as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

If you decide to stand naked in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute - unless I require a
refill of my drink or something to eat.

You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on.

And please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game" or "don't worry, they'll win next time".

If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break-up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the adverts are on, and only if the score is pleasing me.

In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" The reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years".

I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your co-operation.

Regards,

Men of the World

I cannot remember how many times I was driving in the streets of Amman to be stopped in my track by a long line of cars; jammed and everything stops. This started to become a syndrome that we all know and suffer from; an accident and people have gathered to help or watch; either way, you are stuck and forced to wait, cars do not fly after all!

So, this morning, I was suffering from this syndrome and waited till I got close to the center of attention to find this:

Just exactly how did this happen??

Tonight I attended my second book club session; the moderator has chosen the Foresight Art Center to hold the session and I would like to thank her for a wonderful choice. This is my first time I visit the center and I made sure that I go at least half an hour earlier to make sure I find the place and take a tour before everyone else arrives.

I am glad that I did this; the minute I entered the center I felt something different; something magical that captivates you and before you know it, you are wondering from one painting to another, from one corner to another admiring the art work and masterpieces exhibited there.

I took lots of pictures and I promise that I will post them, however; my aim here is to talk about a magnificent corner in the center that took my breath away. It is the works of Lama Hourani. 

For those of you who do not know Lama’s work, I quote from her website and promotional brochure: “Lama Hourani’s timeless, evocative jewelry grows extensively from the abundant natural bounty and rich cultural landscape of Jordan.”

“These pieces of jewelry are not only a matter of working with decorative pieces, but a new way of exhibiting our heritage and ensuring its continuation generation after generation. It’s the molding of elements that are familiar and that are an expression of our common identity. This body of work is not only a celebration of life and times in Jordan, but symbols of our understanding of the world.”

I leave you with some of the pictures I took of Lama’s work; it is definitely worth visiting and taking a look for yourself! These pieces make great gifts and souvenirs, and the most beautiful thing about them is that each piece is one of a kind and unique; this alone gives the piece an extra value and beauty aspect!

It has always been a struggle in our community to express our true ideas and thoughts and this has always been one of our rights that we never enjoyed. Every word we say must be filtered before it comes to the surface and we must not stir controversial issues fear of them affecting people who are susceptible to be affected.

We live in a community where people prefer to bury their heads in the sand to speaking out their minds. They don’t want to be marked one way or another for saying the wrong thing by societal standards. We care so much about appearances that we turned into hypocrites who always say the (societal) right things.

We grew up in a society that worships taboos and censored issues and there are things that are just not material for discussion or even thought. Our fears make things worse than they really are because by choosing to ignore a problem, or in this case; live in denial and act as if these things are not happening, this makes the problems more embedded in the roots than we like to believe.

I was really thrilled the first time I came across the great magazine; VIVA. I said to myself: finally, some people who care enough to shake things up and dig deeper than the surface to cleanse our lives and souls from within. Finally, some people who are brave enough to face us with realities we have been denying for generations. Finally, some people who will teach us and the generations to come how to be free from the inside out and think and act the right way.

This is the pulled magazine cover (Click to enlarge)

When you have some pioneers who take it upon themselves to drive change in a society that needs a makeover, when you see these people taking the huge responsibility of saying what we think and facing our worst fears and demons for us, when you find such a group, you are obligated to give them your support and spread their words to those who are in desperate need to hear them.

Yet; we still find people, who force custody unjustly, and they use their authority to block and/or ban whatever they feel like, justifying the horrendous act as doing what is best for the society. What century are we in exactly?

Pulling the VIVA magazine from the shelves is only proof that we are still afraid to face our demons. We know they are there but we are terrified to confront them and at the same time; we fear someone else doing so. The real fear here is our fear of change; it is more convenient to rot in the fake comfort zone that we have designed for ourselves.

This month's issue has some sensitive topics that are considered huge taboos in our communities. They touch subjects like LGBT issues. Refusing to talk about these things does not make them go away and certainly does not mean that they do not exist because they do. It is time that we pulled our heads from the sand and stood up to problems that are working up the society and work on solutions with courage and open minds and hearts.

As a reader of VIVA; I stand here shocked and saddened by what they are going through at the moment. Forcing censorship on their opinions and ideas and trying to shut them up by pulling their articles from the market when all they want is to make positive change in our culture. Freedom of speech is suffering in our world.

The magazine is being reprinted as we speak and of course minus the artciles that were the reason it was pulled out in the first place; I must say that this is really a sad thing to witness!

I am in no way defending the issues that are subject to censorship as we speak, I haven't even had the chance to read them yet, however; I am outraged by the scandalous act that left dear friends at VIVA oppressed and unjustly shut down, and as it is known where freedom of speech is concerned; I might not agree with what you have to say, but I will definitely defend your right to say it, and that is exactly what I am doing for each and every one of you guys at VIVA.

You might have gotten used by now to the routine of my favorite reviews to articles and/or researches featured in the elitist magazine in Jordan; VIVA. I never get bored of reading what these great researchers and writers have to say, especially that all the topics are highly relevant to our society and daily life.

This month is featuring a spectacular article titled: “What’s in a Word?”

Ziad Abu-Rish thoroughly discusses the implications of some words and the way they affect those who say that and those to whom they are said. Needless to say; we are talking about negative words or ones that carry such a deep meaning.

Many people and regular writers will be hesitant to open such a topic for discussion and one can only predict that such controversial issue would stir some reactions from the whole community at large. Yet; the article professionally shows that people interviewed shared a common actor amongst them and that is their open mindedness and honesty.

Diving into the topic; Ziad points out that Amman and probably the region in general had gone through a remarkable transformation and the most apparent change is the increased use of English language in our daily slang. With this introduction of English in our spoken language; it is inevitable that some derogatory words would find their way in and creep in on us and before we know it, we are hearing it every where and maybe sometimes using them ourselves whether consciously or subconsciously.

Take a deep breath!

Words we are talking about are “bitch”, “retard”, “gay” and their parallel Arabic ones that I will leave to your imagination to come up with. The article shows how some of the interviewees interpret these words and in which contexts they heard or used them, the interviewees also mention how and where they picked them up. It seems that media plays a major role in spreading such words.

Ziad also points out that the origin of these words might not be of negative nature at all, however; the societal use of them to refer to people who are classified under a certain negative stature gave them their bad reputation and they became more commonly and widely used to refer to people while they might not apply to them literally. For example; the word “bitch” means the female of a dog or a lewd or immoral woman, but this is the literal meaning of the word. When someone uses this word to refer to a woman; not necessarily they mean it in its original meaning as the most common meaning of the word is to refer to a woman who is mean, non-cooperative and maybe evil or cruel. I guess we can all agree that the meanings are completely different.

But what happens if some stranger heard you refer to someone else as bitch or retard or gay, wouldn’t they assume the original negative meaning by default?

Some of the interviewees stated that they refrain from using these words or any other negative words of the same nature in front of others, maybe out of fear of being misunderstood or fear of offending someone in the room who might have a problem with these words. On this particular point; Ziad says: “if the use of these terms is truly nothing more than an insult to the person they are directed at, why not use them in front of a stranger who might be labeled such terms by other people?”

In other words; would you use the word “retard” referring to someone who does not agree with what you are saying or he is slow in getting what you are discussing, would you say the word in front of someone who is mentally or physically disabled that happens to be in the room at that time? If you will not say the word only because the disabled person might have been labeled by society as a “retard” and you don’t want to offend them, why would you not say the word when your objective of using the word was to insult someone else? i.e. you are using the word in its negative context anyway, so why use it at times and refrain at others?

The must-read long article discusses more significant ideas about this issue and concludes with an expert opinion provided by Dr. Monique Wong, a PhD linguist where she says: “What is offensive may change over time. The words “bitch”, “retard” and “gay” had perfectly innocent and respectable meanings long before they come to be used in derogatory ways.

“When people use these terms to insult others, they are referring to the negative connotations of these terms. The words are obviously insulting to the groups they refer to, namely women, mentally [and physically] challenged individuals and homosexuals. The use of the terms to insult others reflects the person’s negative views of these groups. To say that the insults are only directed at the persons being insulted is a fallacy. And regardless of whether Arabic or English is used, the effect is the same.”

So I will end up this post by asking the same question that the author does in his article; just as language can be a part of the problem, it also can be a part of the solution, so what will you think and do the next time you hear a person use ‘bitch’, ‘retard’ or ‘gay’ or one of their Arabic equivalents?

All those who read my blog probably know by now that I am not politically oriented in any direction. Regardless of the reasons; my blog is purely directed towards culture related issues and relationships between genders in our Arab Muslim communities.

Having clarified that; I can get to the purpose I am posting about this.

I was approached by fellow bloggers from Egypt to post about Alaa Abd El Fatah who is one of the first and prominent bloggers in Egypt. Alaa was detained while participating in a peaceful protest as the links stated below.

I am responding to the kind request that I received so that more people can read about this and contact the Egyptian embassies to demand release of Alaa. You can find all the details and contact information in these links below.

Good luck to all.

From Rantings of a SandMonkey

Disclaimer: posting about this is only to respond to a kind request I received from fellow bloggers and does not necessarily mean that I agree or adopt any of the opinions they believe or stand for. Their own opinions are a refection of their beliefs and this post is in no way related to them.

The New 7 Wonders Foundation has launched the first-ever global vote to choose 7 wonders out of 21 nominated ones. Petra is one of the nominees and therefore; this is a call to all of us to vote for our heritage to be one of the chosen 7 wonders.

The voting has already started and it will last for a full year. The results will be announced in Jan 2007, so do cast your votes now.

You can find all the information on how to vote on the official website for the foundation; click here to visit the website.

To give you an idea about what the nominations are and they are listed here by code as on the website:

CODE 01: Acropolis - Athens, Greece

CODE 02: Alhambra - Granada, Spain

CODE 03: Angkor – Cambodia

CODE 04: Chichen Itza - Yucatan, Mexico

CODE 05: Christ Redeemer - Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

CODE 06: Colosseum - Rome, Italy

CODE 07: Easter Island Statues – Chile

CODE 08: Eiffel Tower - Paris, France

CODE 09: Great Wall – China

CODE 10: Hagia Sophia - Istanbul, Turkey

CODE 11: Kiyomizu Temple - Kyoto, Japan

CODE 12: Kremlin / St. Basil - Moscow, Russia

CODE 13: Machu Picchu – Peru

CODE 14: Neuschwanstein Castle - Füssen, Germany

CODE 15: Petra – Jordan

CODE 16: Pyramids of Giza – Egypt

CODE 17: Statue of Liberty - New York, USA

CODE 18: Stonehenge - Amesbury, United Kingdom

CODE 19: Sydney Opera House – Australia

CODE 20: Taj Mahal, Agra – India

CODE 21: Timbuktu – Mali
 

As you can see; the competition is aggressive, so we better do our duty and vote for Petra to make it to the finalists.

Please spread the word, you can find the instructions and the numbers to vote here.

I have been thinking about posting this for some time now and was more determined to do so after the great feedback I received on the "To date or not to date" post last month. Many of the comments stated that it is wrong to open the community to an imported concept like dating for all the bad consequences it will have on our clean society, and that it will only drag more problems, etc.

Assuming that we do not have a dating phenomenon in the Arab World, the above argument might be somewhat valid. However; people have been dating for decades now and it hasn't stopped and my guess that it will not stop at all. Starting from dating the girl next door to our colleague at university or work; point is: dating is an ongoing part of our culture whether we liked it or not.

It might not be as open as western countries as people in the Middle East are doing it more discreetly and needless to say; without parents' knowledge.

I have to admit that the methods used to meet new people are creative. So as an individual; male or female; you are not stuck to your small environment and you can go beyond that with the whole world as your destination.

It first started with placing personal ads in magazines. These are done anonymously where you put a small profile about yourself and are given an ID number for reference. These services are monitored and managed by personnel hired for this specific reason, so the role of this person is "khatba" or matchmaker and they make sure that the information given by the member is true so that they can provide credible service; you can view samples of these services in any of the famous Arab magazines and yes, this method is still widely used.

With more sophisticated individuals who happen to be internet savvy and have access to the web; the process has been simplified and made a lot easier for them and they can now manage it for themselves. The model started with big portals adopting the personal ads as one of the free services provided for the members worldwide. With advertising phrases like: find friends in your own area, more people signed up and placed profiles to get connected with other people who shared their interests so that they have something to talk about when breaking the ice.

With introduction of chatting and instant messaging; the process became even easier and you could meet more people by a click of a button. AOL, ICQ, MSN, Yahoo and others; they all provide the service of searching for people and getting in touch with them. People started meeting online is group chat rooms, and then moved to private ones to have personal talks.

Some have become chat experts where they don’t provide real information about themselves; at least until they make sure of the other party and decide whether they want to take it further or stop it immediately. Those who have a lot of free time on their hands can waste it in internet cafés meeting new people online.

Eventually; this method is being abused all the time and people use it only to make fun of others or hunt desperate-for-attention individuals, blackmail them emotionally and drain their energy through false relations.

Despite disadvantages; the model continued to evolve and grow and more services began to emerge to the service where these services are designed specifically for serious people who want to settle down and marry but don’t seem to find the right person, so the matchmaker has an electronic version now and through delicate sensitive search engines, it can find you several matches to explore and choose from and maybe end up with them in a successful family.

These models started with date.com, eharmony.com, dreamdates.com and many others. Since these services have an international reach, the need rose for a localized or more customized service for our communities in the Middle East and we started seeing them come to life. Only naming a few; bentelhalal.com, qiran.com, e-zawaj, naseeb.com.

Even some of the networking sites have become a cover for the same activity; online dating. From these: hi5, lovehappens.com, bingbox.com, sms.ac and many others.

Can people really meet online and fall in love? Can internet solve the problem of many individuals who do not find their matches in the regular ways? Is this model successful?

Since the medium used (internet) gives a complete anonymity for the user; how can you make sure that the information you are getting is credible and truthful? How can you ascertain that you are not being played by some psycho who has decided to make fun of you and use your feelings as a toy? Do only losers go for this method? Can we generalize and say that if they were not losers they would have met their matches without using internet as a medium? Or there might be some good people out there?

Some people still abuse these channels and use them to hunt for flings because they are bored with their own spouses. They create fake attractive profiles to get to people seriously looking for good company and/or long term relationships. They use all the tricks in the book to get to these people and are prepared to lie their hearts out for the sake of getting whatever they are after.

It cannot be denied that these methods are used; otherwise we wouldn't find so many successful business models like the ones mentioned above. The question is: how do we deal with them? And as a person living in a community who condemns normal dating procedures, would you go for online dating? Would you marry someone you met online?