Ever since I was a little girl, I heard everyone around me cheering when Jordan’s name was mentioned and I could not understand what the fuss is all about. I got it that we live in Jordan and where it is located on the World’s map and most importantly on the Arab World map. It was emphasized many a time in our family that we are Jordanians and proud of it, but I couldn't understand what it means to be a part of this country or what it means to belong to it.

As I started my school, my mother used to write me patriotic speeches to give in memorial days and she used to make me rehearse it in front of her tens of times to make sure that I got all the words right and that I had the right tone of voice. She taught me where I should raise my tone and what phrases I should repeat.

I enjoyed these sessions because they always ended up in cheering from students and my teachers were so proud of me and of my talent and ability to charge the audience as they used to say.

All that was like a part of life, it was normal and I never thought about what it means to belong to this country, what does it mean to be Jordanian?

Growing up was a continuous exploration activity on my part, I kept hearing the cheers in the background but I did not know if all those who cheered understood what they are actually cheering for. I kept wondering; do they celebrate being Jordanians because they love Jordan and have the sense of belonging to this country? Or they were doing it because they were trying to prove a point to others?

It kept going through my head; if you really loved your country, you would do things that make your country a better place to live in, you would love it enough to preserve it, you will care about its future that you will give your all to make it a place that will host the future of your kids and the generations to come. If you loved your country enough, you would work harder on yourself to give it back some of what it has given you. Your country, any country in the world, needs its sons and daughters to be doers, not just cheerers.

The first time I realized how much I loved this country was when I lived abroad. Every step I took out of the place I used to live in was a step into the unknown. It almost felt like walking in the dark without any lights to make you see where you are putting your feet. I realized that what I missed the most was the feeling of being a citizen, a national of my own country. I felt that a part of my dignity was lost when I decided to leave my home, my family and my whole country behind.

I thought I was making a smart thing by seeking a better opportunity in a country that imports our talents and brains. I kept fighting the sinking feeling that I made a horrendous mistake when I left my world behind and sought the unknown. I cannot begin to describe the depression I had to go through, the ongoing phone calls that sent me straight to bankruptcy, when one day and out of nowhere, an idea popped in my head; what was I trying to prove and to whom? Why am insisting on torturing myself when I know exactly what is wrong? I was homesick; it was that simple, and at that very moment, I knew how I felt about Jordan and I knew how much I have been unfair to this wonderful country, and at that moment in particular, I decided I was coming home no matter what the cost was. Less than a month later; I was home.

The minute I set foot in the airport, the air smelled different, the colors looked different and even the frown on the police officer’s face looked good and I realized that I had missed everything about Amman, right down to the gloomy faces and lack of sense of humor. Although I don’t believe that this is true, but I missed it anyway.

On this day; the Independence Day, I declare my love, commitment and dedication to you, Jordan.

To Jordan … With Love!

كلمة حلوة وكلمتين ... حلوة يا بلدي

نظرة حلوة ونظرتين ... حلوة يا بلدي
 

كل عام وكل الأردن بألف خير