Last week was awful; it was filled with disappointments and shocks from people I really thought highly of. It was a slow miserable week and it seemed that it was not going to ever end and I thought to myself: it will be over sooner or later so keep up girl!

I did not imagine that there could be something worse than last week, but this week is proving me wrong so far; maybe this whole month sucks or maybe my stars are just messed up and turning my days into a living hell.

Anyway; I think that one of the worst things that can ever happen to you is when someone you trust breaks a promise he made to you. As we get to know new people in our life, we grow to trust some of them, be it on a personal level or a business level; trust has proven to be one of the most important ingredients in communication recipe between individuals. In fact; I consider it to be the most important one.

Think about it; where would we be without trust? How would we live comfortably if we had to doubt everything and everyone around us? How would it be feasible for us to go on in life if we did not have people we can count on? If we think that our families and friends could double cross us any time, how would we deal with them? How can we move forward if we are paranoid of being stabbed in the back?

Trust is like an unwritten agreement between people; you don’t have to have a contract with everyone to be able to trust them, actually; I believe that if you do need such a piece of paper to reassure you, then this is the biggest proof that you do not trust these individuals and that’s why you needed what they promised you in writing so that you can hold them to it, you are expecting their double cross and you want to be prepared.

When you do trust someone; his word is enough and more binding than a thousand useless pieces of paper. They used to say that a man is bound by the words he says and they are considered commitments that he cannot and will not turn his back on. Men used words for business deals and the commitment was always: "I give you my word."

Of course when someone breaks up the promise; there is nothing you can do about it but it does not feel good, in fact it feels lousy and tastes like crap.

There are so many people out there who promise you so many things and give you their word for it, but they seldom come through, and when they do break their promises; their justification is that the agreement they had with you and have been going by for sometime now is not working for them any more and that’s why they are changing the rules of the game. You don’t like that? Well, tough luck dude; they call the shots and if you don’t accept it, the agreement is already broken and you are as worthless as the promise they gave you.

Sometimes I think to myself that most of the things that happen in my life should not happen in the first place and I wonder if it is my fault that they do happen; maybe I should stop being too nice as my ex-boss once told me; he said that my main problem in life is that I was too nice and that I should take courses on how to be tough with people. I really wonder if he was right all along.

Broken promises are in fact grounds for major break ups in relationships and arrangements, but it seems that honor is something of the past and one should not count on others' sense of decency and consideration. Such people are teaching us selfishness in its ugliest shapes and we all know that it is foolish and dumb to expect something to come out of selfish people because they only serve themselves and their own best interests regardless of how this might affect others.

It’s June, it’s summer time and from the early hours of the day, the sun is shining so hard and the heat is rising every minute. You get up in the morning after a long hot night full of battles with mosquitoes; you take a shower, get ready for the day and then head out in the overheated car to start your lovely summer day!

It is obvious that I am not that fond of summer; in fact; the heat kind of suffocates me and I think I become irrational when the atmosphere is overheated; I can’t help it; I just feel so edgy. However; what I am about to talk about here is not the heat and the elevated temperatures we are experiencing; this post is dedicated for summer sense of style!

The sun is high up in the sky and up goes with it sleeves and skirts and shirts; it seems that everything is shrinking up!

I am sure that each and every one of us takes a look around and sees how girls and elderly women just started to show up as much meat as possible in these sunny days that we are going through. I am sure that some of you might say: so what? What makes you talk about this? What annoys you in short skirts, sleeveless shirts, spaghetti strap tops … etc.? Well; I will tell you!

It is only logical that one should wear something that fits what he/she is doing. You just don’t see a guy wearing some shorts to a meeting, now do you? So why is it that we see girls wearing these revealing provocative clothes for such occasion? You just don’t see a guy’s underwear flashing you in the face while at a business conference, so why is it that whenever you turn your head here or there you get flashed with a bra strap or worse; a thong?? When did it become ok to see someone’s bellybutton or cleavage while you are attending a course or a lecture or simply having lunch in the middle of the day?

Sometimes it is not suitable and it even lacks taste to wear such things for formal occasions and it is distracting. You reveal more than you seal and then you curse these boys for sneaking looks you have already invited them to take. You do not put something out in the open and then feel upset and offended when someone looks at it; I mean was not that the point you put them on display in the first place??

I get it! Some girls have the assets that make them attractive and beautiful and some attention would not harm anyone, but what about those who do not have what it takes to make them pass as gorgeous and yet still flash the world with less than ugly scenes? Isn’t it enough that we have to deal with the good ones to have to deal with the bad ones? I mean; for God’s sake, wear something suitable for your size, age, status … etc.

If you are a large girl, please do not wear tight clothes; it hurts bad enough to see these tight clothes on skinny chicks and they do not look good. If you are old enough to be a mother and in your late thirties or forties, please wear your age because fitting yourself in these shiny small pieces is not flattering at all.

If you were not blessed with a shiny white skin, maybe orange or lime green is just not your color, so why insist on wearing it?

Who was the first one who came up with this style or lack of it for that matter? It is not ok or cool to wear beach clothes for work, it is not ok or cool to reveal more than you seal as you are walking down the streets and then cry out your frustration of these men who cannot control themselves, it is not ok or cool to wear clothes that are too tight or too small or do not fit your age. It is not ok or cool to make chiffon a part of your daily wardrobe because its suitable time and place is parties.

Please don’t tell me that this is the followed trend and that you just go for it without thinking. If one day you walk in the grocery store to find that the latest trend in the food market is to eat flavored poison, would you go for it just because it is the trend?

Summer girls; please have mercy because this is getting way out of hand!

It is not a secret that unemployment is one of the major problems in Jordan. This is a topic that has been discussed many times and it touches the lives of almost everyone in this country.

The percentage of educated individuals is continuously increasing and the number of schools and universities is on the rise as well; this is one of the successful trades and business models in Jordan and despite that the education fees are exploding every year; more students are enrolling and more graduates are pouring the workforce on yearly basis. However; the business market takes its need from fresh graduates which is only a fraction of the real number, leaving the rest of the graduates to fall in the trap of unemployment and total dependency on one's parents till a miracle happens.

We cannot put all the blame on the business sectors; job seekers must bare their share of the responsibility and blame.

First of all; the expectations of these students are not being managed properly; there is no career consulting services in universities; one that prepares students for the real world, so the student approaches senior year with high hopes piling up in his mind and heart to own the world upon graduation.

Of course; it would be unrealistic to think that all graduates will find opportunities on the spot and start their working life immediately after leaving university; only the lucky ones get such golden opportunities and get ahead of the others. On the other hand; our typical Jordanian student does not want to put any effort to put his/her first step on the ladder and they think that graduating is good enough to be chosen for any job they apply for when by far it is not.

In our culture; there are many factors that play major roles in forming this phenomenon; to name a few; culture focusing on shame, spoiled kids, unmanaged expectations, lack of student preparation to the working life and many others.

A thought comes to my mind as I write this; we are raising our kids to be dependent, we do not teach them to be responsible since early age, accountability has no known meaning in our lives and we do not prepare them to be the future men and women. Since early age; we do everything for our children and we give them everything they need when they need it; all they have to do is ask and they get it without putting any effort or doing anything. The idea that someone has to work in order to get something is not a factor in the way we raise the future generation and by not doing so, we are preparing them to fail, not to succeed.

One of the things that we make sure our kids must know; is that there are ranks and levels in the community. Some jobs are just considered low level and they are interconnected with poverty and shameful roles; they are beneath our sons and daughters and unconsciously we teach them to disrespect those who perform them and consider them beneath us as individuals when all people are supposed to be equal. They grow up thinking of the garbage guy as someone who is needy enough to accept this role and they forget that without him, we wouldn't have a clean city to brag about.

We teach them that it is more important how people perceive you than making a living; so in their mindset; it is ok to stay jobless for years than to work in a construction site or as a waiter, driver, guard or any other low level job.

Mothers work hard to add a prefix to their children's names as if they would not be proud of them or love them the same if they grew up to be just them. Unconditional love is a concept that we don’t recognize and we grew up to believe that if I am not successful enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, handsome enough, whatever enough, people would not love or accept us and we continue to pass this myth from one generation to another.

I can continue to rant forever about this issue, but it would be pointless if no one will hear. If we continue to put more weight on people's opinions in what we do and how we live our lives, we will never rise up to everyone's expectations and standards, hence; we continue to stress ourselves with imaginary standards that we must meet, turning our lives into a rat race, but one that has no finish line.

It is not shameful to work, it is not shameful to start somewhere, it is shameful though; to continue to be a dependent person living off the effort of others, it is also shameful to look down on people who proudly handle jobs we consider beneath us because without their work, our lives would never be the same.

Today is the day you must wake up Jordan and do something to build a better tomorrow!

It is summer time again and the season is taking people by a craze. A lot of people, couples mainly, have been waiting impatiently for the summer because it is the time of the year when families reunite and the fun begins; there is no better time to tie the knot and finally get married.

Not a single day passes by without receiving an invitation card to attend a wedding of a relative, friend, coworker or even an acquaintance. The funny thing is that you are always expected to attend because this is what the social etiquette tells us to do. Once you subconsciously make the decision to attend, you need a new dress, a beauty salon hair style and makeup and above all, you need to extend a suitable gift.

All this is great when you really care about those getting married, but what happens when you know them only casually, or they are family friends that you probably won’t ever see again in your lifetime? What then? Should you or should you not go?

Every time I attend a wedding, I come out with the same conclusion; what a waste of money!!

So what does make a typical wedding in Amman???

Let’s forget about the residence and its furnishing, rent and whatever a house needs for a moment, and let’s just focus on the wedding party itself.

In order to have a wedding like the daughter of aunti Suha or even a better one than that of the son of 3ammo Jamal; you need to make sure that you have the following:

You need a royal wedding dress. When I say royal; I mean it, you hear me? I mean it! It has to be of silky fabric and hand decorated. The corset and skirt need to make you look like a princess; anything less than that and you will look so poor and as if you had rented the thing, shame on you!

For your groom; you need a suite of a tycoon. Shoes must match. It has to be the right size; that’s why you have to have it tailored especially for him. All accessories must be bought from global brand names because people can tell the difference you know! The tie, cufflinks and tie pin should all be original.

Now you need someone like Marwan Kheir to give you the princess look. The wedding dress will not do you much good if not matched with a great hairstyle and a makeup that hides all your face imperfections and make you look like a movie star.

Let’s talk about the party!

First of all; it has to be in a five stars hotel, because that’s where your friend Soso had her wedding last year. Flowers should be everywhere and it must be natural flowers; we don’t want people to think that we are vulgar and do not know how to plan a great wedding party. As for music, it must be the best DJ in town or better yet; get one of the hot shot performers out there; Haifa would make the wedding memorable if only she was not more beautiful than you; people will forget about you and will keep staring at her and we don’t want that on your own wedding, so it is much better to get a guy. Also a belly dancer is out of the question because we don’t want her to steal the lights now, do we?

Now, what about the buffet? It has include various dishes because people have different tastes, we don’t want them to say we are mean, so make sure you include Jordanian, Syrian, Lebanese, Egyptian, Italian, Chinese, and maybe some Indian and don’t forget about desserts. Speaking of desserts, the wedding cake should be different because it reflects your taste and identity so don’t be typical!

All that and I still did not mention the ring/”shabkeh” and the bedroom furniture as these should be out of the way by now!

Is the period of 4-5 hours worth all that? Do people get high on spending their money that way? Does all this make him a better guy or her a better lady? Will this help them face the first few months of their married life when they get to know each other? Will that make them a happier couple?

No wonder that more guys are choosing to wait longer before falling in the trap of marriage and no wonder that more girls are entering the world of spinsterhood! I say it is a trap because that’s all what guys see, they do not see a woman they love and want to be with her no matter what, rather they see an empty bank account and probably a load of loans to be paid back; trust me, this is no way to start a life!

If love really existed between couples, none of these empty “keeping up appearances” actions would make any difference to them. They would take the money they have and go launch their life as a couple on a far island where they can spend a few days away from people and really make happy memories and lots of pictures to document them.

To me, a wedding is nothing more than dressing simple, having your closest family and friends around you and then a great long honeymoon, now that’s what I call a great wedding and that is exactly why I have boycotted all the weddings I get invited to, unless it was someone very special or if I had to attend.

A disturbing accident took place in Madaba last Wednesday afternoon! This 2.5 year old boy took a fatal action on the roof top of his family residence while he was accompanying his mother. The shocking news state that this boy approached a wire protruding from the high voltage lines only to be electrified in a way beyond repair; he lost his right arm from the shoulder and doctors are debating to amputate his left leg as it is burned to the bone. [Source]

As I was hearing this piece of shocking news on Al Wakeel’s Radio Show; Bisara7a Ma3 Al Wakeel, I felt sick to my stomach for the negligence and carelessness we have; exactly whose responsibility is it that Barakat is lying on a hospital bed in the ICU, armless and might also lose his leg? Is it the responsibility of the Electricity Company? Or the house owner? Or the mother herself who is in a state of nervous breakdown till now?

On the show; it was mentioned that the high voltage lines are as close to the roof of the house as 35 cm only. It was also mentioned that the boy reached it with his bare hand and in another story; he was holding a pipe.

It is also worth mentioning here that this is the third accident of this kind in Madaba this year only, so do we see a pattern here?

I wish Barakat to get well soon and may God bless his family with patience and endurance.  

I posted last week about VIVA Magazine being pulled out of the market after being distributed. How do I know that? Obviously I got the magazine the first time it was distributed when lots of my friends could not find it any where.

After asking and looking deeper to find the magazine, I learned that it was pulled because of some controversial articles that were featured in this issue. I made a decision then and there to talk about this subject and get the word out to all interested people out there that there are some information that was meant to reach us and for some reason it was blocked censored.

Let me clarify one thing here before I give you a chance to read the articles; I posted about this before and am posting about it now because I believe in transparency. Solving problems in society always begin with recognizing them and accepting that there is a problem to begin with and getting out of the denial to work on our issues from the roots.

So, regardless of my personal opinion about the articles and their content, I believe that everyone has the right to read them and make up their own minds about them, therefore; here they are, since the censored issue is already in the market, so you have something to compare to:

It has always been a struggle in our community to express our true ideas and thoughts and this has always been one of our rights that we never enjoyed. Every word we say must be filtered before it comes to the surface and we must not stir controversial issues fear of them affecting people who are susceptible to be affected.

We live in a community where people prefer to bury their heads in the sand to speaking out their minds. They don’t want to be marked one way or another for saying the wrong thing by societal standards. We care so much about appearances that we turned into hypocrites who always say the (societal) right things.

We grew up in a society that worships taboos and censored issues and there are things that are just not material for discussion or even thought. Our fears make things worse than they really are because by choosing to ignore a problem, or in this case; live in denial and act as if these things are not happening, this makes the problems more embedded in the roots than we like to believe.

I was really thrilled the first time I came across the great magazine; VIVA. I said to myself: finally, some people who care enough to shake things up and dig deeper than the surface to cleanse our lives and souls from within. Finally, some people who are brave enough to face us with realities we have been denying for generations. Finally, some people who will teach us and the generations to come how to be free from the inside out and think and act the right way.

This is the pulled magazine cover (Click to enlarge)

When you have some pioneers who take it upon themselves to drive change in a society that needs a makeover, when you see these people taking the huge responsibility of saying what we think and facing our worst fears and demons for us, when you find such a group, you are obligated to give them your support and spread their words to those who are in desperate need to hear them.

Yet; we still find people, who force custody unjustly, and they use their authority to block and/or ban whatever they feel like, justifying the horrendous act as doing what is best for the society. What century are we in exactly?

Pulling the VIVA magazine from the shelves is only proof that we are still afraid to face our demons. We know they are there but we are terrified to confront them and at the same time; we fear someone else doing so. The real fear here is our fear of change; it is more convenient to rot in the fake comfort zone that we have designed for ourselves.

This month's issue has some sensitive topics that are considered huge taboos in our communities. They touch subjects like LGBT issues. Refusing to talk about these things does not make them go away and certainly does not mean that they do not exist because they do. It is time that we pulled our heads from the sand and stood up to problems that are working up the society and work on solutions with courage and open minds and hearts.

As a reader of VIVA; I stand here shocked and saddened by what they are going through at the moment. Forcing censorship on their opinions and ideas and trying to shut them up by pulling their articles from the market when all they want is to make positive change in our culture. Freedom of speech is suffering in our world.

The magazine is being reprinted as we speak and of course minus the artciles that were the reason it was pulled out in the first place; I must say that this is really a sad thing to witness!

I am in no way defending the issues that are subject to censorship as we speak, I haven't even had the chance to read them yet, however; I am outraged by the scandalous act that left dear friends at VIVA oppressed and unjustly shut down, and as it is known where freedom of speech is concerned; I might not agree with what you have to say, but I will definitely defend your right to say it, and that is exactly what I am doing for each and every one of you guys at VIVA.