I have just finished a great book about practicing personal accountability at work and life; this book is called "QBQ!", and to translate this acronym; it stands for: Question Behind the Question!

I enjoyed reading this book a lot because it is not your ordinary self help book that takes you through pages and pages of explanations and examples of how we should do this or that and how it would affect our attitudes and lives to change what we are doing and so on and so forth.

This book is digestible that I finished it in a few days. The author takes you in a lovely journey of discoveries within yourself that lead you at the end of it to grasp the concept and believe that it will truly affect your behavior, attitude and life in general.

One of the things that I liked about this book is that it is written in a very simple language and without unnecessary long paragraphs. Each chapter is 2 or 3 pages; concise and right to the point.

The most important thing I learned is that the questions we often ask ourselves are as important as the way we ask them and what words we pick to include in them as these words are an indication of something deeper than the surface.

Questions like: why me? Who did this? When are we going to get proper assistance? Are questions of blame and dependency and instead of asking these questions in any situation we face, be it in our work or personal life; we should switch to questions that give us power over any of these situations. Such questions should start with "What" or "How", and they should contain the pronoun "I" and have an action verb that urges us to take action proactively and claim the responsibility to ourselves. This is what we call "Personal Accountability".

Listing some of the bad questions we usually find ourselves asking; and ones that we should adopt instead: (BQ = Bad Question, GQ = Good Question)

In Customer care:

BQ: Why does the customer expect so much?

GQ: How can I serve them?

In Sales:

BQ: Why won't the customer call me back?

GQ: How can I add value for my customers?

In Management:

BQ: Why aren't my team members motivated?

GQ: What can I do to better understand each person on the team?

In Executive:

BQ: When are they going to catch the vision?

GQ: How can I be a better leader?

The Front Line:

BQ: Why do we have to go through all this change?

GQ: How can I adapt to the changing environment?

In Marketing:

BQ: When will the salespeople deliver our program?

GQ: What can I do to understand the sales reps' frustration?

In Parenthood:

BQ: When is my child going to listen to me?

GQ: What can I do to improve my parenting skills?

Teenager:

BQ: When are my parents going to get it?

GQ: What can I do to communicate more effectively?

Spouse:

BQ: When will she appreciate me more?

GQ: What can I do to help her out?

The list goes on and on and I think you get the picture now as to how to implement this in your own lives. The point is that the choice is really ours to make, we can decide and choose our attitudes and reactions towards everything that takes place in our lives. So take a moment and ask yourself; how willing are you to get out of your dependency shell and take responsibility once and for all? Are you ready to become accountable for everything you say or do? Are you ready to work on yourself and those around you to grasp and adopt personal accountability?

If you answer these questions positively; then don't wait and take action to make it happen. If you answered negatively; then maybe it is time for you to start a journey within your soul to determine when and how you are going to start the new path towards becoming accountable.

Memoirs of a Geisha; one of the best books I have ever read in my whole life, and I assure that I have read a lot of books. The author was like an artist painting picture after picture of magnificent characters and events, forming a story that not only gave an insight to a beautiful culture like Japan's, but also it was a documentation of history of an era that a whole country survived in unity and admirable dedication to patriotism.

From the first page of this novel, I got completely lost in the story and character of Chio or Sayuri at a later stage. Her childhood dreams and innocence were hijacked from her with cruelty, she was forced to grow up way too soon, and her intelligence and rare beauty were her only aids in many parts of her life.

Before I read this story; like most of the westerners or maybe the rest of the world; I thought that a geisha is a courtesan that sells her body by becoming every man's fascination and dream; I couldn't have been more wrong!

It turned out that a geisha's life is a lot harder than I imagined in my wildest dreams; she is not allowed to choose anything in her life; all the major choices and life altering decisions are made for her by the Okea (house that keeps her) and by her elder sister who is bonded to her for life. She is not allowed to love or dream of a future; if she was lucky enough, she would get a good man for a Danna (protector).

I have to admit that I had very high expectations about the movie, and probably like all novels that turned into Hollywood movies; there is a certain degree of disappointment involved. Despite that; I think that the movie was very successful in capturing the most important stages in this little girl's life, with some slight changes here and there, because if they wanted to capture every single detail; they might have come up with 3 series movies at least.

I am glad that I have read the book before watching the movie, because I know the real story and it adds to the fun to see it captured and real people performing the very same events that fascinated me while reading the novel.

I would recommend that you go watch the movie whether you read the novel or not, but if you have already started reading the novel or at least planning to; wait till you have read this wonderful story of culture, a country and a part of Japanese beauty; geisha.

On a side note; this is my post # 100, YAY!

I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I did, and I assure that there is plenty where the first 100 came from so stay tuned.  

I think that by now, almost everyone had heard or read something about this work that created a lot of conflict in the Saudi community, and maybe in the region at large; I am referring to the novel "Banat Al Riyadh" for Raja'a Abdullah Al Sane'.

I have tried to pick up this book from our bookstores in town, but it was no where to be found, and it seems that the banning that was forced on it in Saudi has extended to reach the freedom that our own bookshelves enjoys most of the time.

After all my attempts to find this book failed, I resorted to the only left method; purchasing it online and finally got the book through "Adab wa Fan".

Before turning the cover to start my journey with a new book, I took a look at the back and read a nice comment by Ghazi Al Quseibi, and I said to myself: if such a great writer of our time gives such a comment on this book, it must be good and worth reading.

I started reading and the pages kept turning; and I found myself fascinated by the author's writing style that kept flowing, till I realized that I finished the 319 pages in one day literally. I really could not let the book down and was so into the characters, lived their turmoil and tragedies, was happy for their happiness and felt sorry for them at times.

The book is a collection of emails that the author started sending to an email group. She used to send an email every Friday and then sitting back and enjoying the reaction that included discussions in workplaces, some newspaper columns, some magazine articles and a lot of hate mail to the author herself.

The author succeeded in exposing the insider edition of what really goes on in the closed community that the heroines lived in. The four friends presented different models of modern Saudi women who are struggling in a society that insists on pushing the woman backwards, and I have to say that I admire and respect all these women that are truly out there fighting to induce change and make significant difference.

Some might argue that this is not a true representation of Saudi community or women for that matter, and this might have some truth to it, however; we cannot deny that these models do exist and not only in Saudi, but also in the Arab world as a whole.

Reading the stories of these 4 magnificent girls made me really happy that I live in a country that succeeded in liberating its communities enough to make us lead successful careers and create an opportunity for us to become independent, and when the man becomes a part of our lives, we have the ability to become interdependent with him, for that; we are truly lucky.

As I was reading the stories and following up on the events; I kept remembering the other famous four friends who were completely different in personalities, yet they shared a wonderful relationship and their friendship was stronger than men and time itself. Of course I am talking about Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte; the main characters in the very popular show; "Sex and the City"

I really recommend that you grab this book and read it; if not to get an internal view of these ladies' closed lives, read it to get a feel of the author's great writing that promises her with a bright future should she decide to pursue it, and promises us with good reading material that is highly needed in our world of today.   

Tonight was my second JP meeting and my first time at Wild Jordan; both events were full of excitement and joy.

I arrived there a bit before 6:30 to find Nasim, Abdul Aziz and Ibrahim there, and then the others started arriving. We had a special seating area on the second floor, but the only setback if I may call it so, is that we were told by the waiter that in order to enjoy the second floor, there is a minimum charge of JD 5.00 per person, which is totally fine if only we were not sort of forced into it.

The topics discussed this time varied a lot, but they were all focused on the meetings and how they will be arranged for the next times. A suggestion was made to hold the meetings in conference rooms rather than restaurants, or hold meetings on a larger scale to include readers as well as bloggers; both are still in debate.

This meeting was different than the one in December; new faces were introduced in the group and recurring familiar ones. A new face was of our fellow Kuwaiti blogger Abdul Aziz who is known as Exzombie to some of the bloggers in JP. Abdul Aziz is a vibrant active individual and I have enjoyed his company in this meeting a lot; he was among the first to show up and among the last to leave and we have insisted that he attends all the next meetings as well. He is leaving tomorrow for Kuwait to spend his vacation; I wish him a great time and am looking forward for his return to his second home; Jordan.

Some of us took pictures of the evening and I leave you with mine … I wish that all JP members were there, but maybe next time!!!

There was some discussion going on, but really; nice smile Ala'a :)

Abdul Aziz is paying attention to the camera


Another side, Laith took this picture ... Thank you


Abdul Aziz is taking a picture of Laith who was also taking a picture of the group


A shared smile


Laith and Issam are checking out Laith's Digi-cam


I was stopped after I took this picture and was told that no photographing is allowed, seriously people, why not?

I have been hearing this all my life; that I was different … so what if I was different??

As a young girl, I was neither the beautiful nor the cute; those were my older and younger sisters respectively; I was the smart.

Growing up, I was not the girly girl; I was that nerd who put her study on the top of the priority list. I was not the social creature that mingles in every party; rather I was that one who preferred watching a documentary or reading a book.

I always heard my friends talk about their crushes over the kid next door and every time I thought that they did not know what to do with their time, so they spent it writing letters to each other and standing in the window, just staring at the center of their affection; I thought that was stupid.

In university; I tried to be like the other girls and have a special friend or a boyfriend as they say, but that did not work out. He tried to have exclusivity; meaning: I was not supposed to speak to any other male but him and I thought that was silly, because if he trusted me enough he should not care, right?

After graduation; I indulged myself in my work and my career grew in front of my eyes. Love always took a back seat until I was told by my friends and family that was stiff and I should change.

I thought I should change the way I am thinking about life; the result was that I became lenient and love took a front seat in my life and almost destroyed everything I had worked so hard for.

What is the right way to do things? Is there right or wrong? Why do they keep telling me that I am different if they did not want to appreciate my difference? Why do they always try to change me to give me the right mixture? Is there someone who is confident enough not to judge? Are there people out there who appreciate others' differences and accept and embrace them rather than try to change them?

So what if I am different?

Accept my difference and individuality; that’s a lot better than trying to change who I am and lose me in the process.

As I was driving home tonight, I thought I saw lightening, but I failed to hear the sound of thunder although I was praying for it inside. I thought I was mistaken when it happened again; it really is lightening.

 

I just took this photo from my room window :)

I might be one of the minorities as I love rain. I feel that it washes our hearts and souls as it does to our lands and skies, and it promises us a prettier tomorrow.

Some would say that winter and rain is depressing, when I see it as quite the opposite. Rain is a gift from God and without it life is just not complete.

I lived out of Jordan for a couple of years and I missed the winter dearly, that when I came back and it rained for the first time, I was so excited that I wanted to stay out to feel the rain, experience it and savor this memory for the next time it rains and I do it again.

I am just glad that it is raining and am enjoying the sound of thunder and raindrops hitting the ground … it is just awesome!!!  

This morning as I was driving to my work, there was some kind of a craze among the drivers along the way. A large number of them shared a common behavior and that is being completely out of control.

I understand that some drivers might be in a rush if they are late for work, but what happened to better late than never?

In almost all countries, big trucks and lorries are not allowed to surf the streets at any time they wished, instead; they have certain hours to drive through the main streets of big cities, and when they are allowed, they are obliged to use the right lane only and there are some penalties if they start using the left lane.

Imagine if we had such rules in our beloved Amman, wouldn't the accidents rate fall considerably? Aren't these Lorries and trucks causing the majority of the accidents?

Those drivers give a bad name to driving; they go through the streets as if they are riding in a sports car and not in a vehicle that weighs a ton and could kill a lot of people if something went wrong.

Another observation is the mini buses. More often than not; these mini buses belong to companies and they hire kids as drivers. These kids' ultimate dream was to be given a chance to drive and they literally act on it; they drive for the sake of driving and not because that’s what they were hired to do.

When is this going to stop? When will the authorities start paying attention to this everlasting problem? When will we start acting on preventing rather than correcting?

Driving has become a dangerous adventure; Amman is very crowded and whether we like it or not, it is the center of businesses and welcomes thousands of workers coming from other areas on daily basis. Needless to say that this alone causes traffic jams and many accidents, but when there are a lot of aiding factors in the negative direction, that’s when something needs to be addressed and quickly.

In the United States; when a driver violates the law; not only they take away his driving license, but he is also forced to perform a number of hours as community service in the government's outlets, and only when his supervisor or parole officer releases him and signs his graduation papers that he is allowed behind the wheel again.

I really would love to suggest this as one of the things that can be done to increase awareness and instill the right concepts about the driving responsibility and accountability in the minds of people here, but I know that it will never work in this part of the world, because is they gained their driver's license through connections in the first place, my guess is that they will be able to get away with anything.

This issue is getting really tragic and boring!

Hmmm … let me see! My friend sk8erboi tagged me again but with a nice twist this time, so I am not going to disappoint him so here you go:

Four jobs I've had:

1-       Mechanical Engineer

2-       Area Sales Manager

3-       Human Resources & Administration Manager

4-       Online Advertising Sales & Marketing Manager

Four movies I could watch over and over:

1-       A Knight's Tale

2-       Butterfly Effect

3-       Jurassic Park I, II & III

4-       50 First Dates

Four places I have lived:

1-       Jordan

2-       Kuwait

3-       UAE – Dubai

4-       Who knows?

Four TV shows I love to watch:

1-       CSI

2-       LOST

3-       Medium

4-       Desperate Housewives

Four places I have been on vacation:

1-       Jordan – Aqaba

2-       Egypt – Cairo

3-       Lebanon – Beirut

4-       UAE – Dubai

Four blogs I visit daily:

Actually; I don’t have a schedule … of course I visit Jeeran Blogs on daily basis and I visit Jordan Planet, and I follow the latest posts, read what interests me and sometimes comment on them.

Four favorite foods:

1-       Cheese and more cheese

2-       Eggs

3-       Spinach

4-       Fruits of all kinds, shapes and colors

Four places I'd rather be:

1-       Home

2-       Beach

3-       The Country

4-       Illinois to visit my brother and see my nephews

Four albums I love:

1-       Let's Talk About Love: Celine Dion

2-       A New Day Has Come: Celine Dion

3-       Love Songs: Julio Iglesias

4-       Tribute: Yanni

Four vehicles I've owned:

1-       Metro Austin - light blue

2-       KIA Avilla Delta -  white

3-       Toyota RAV4 - black

4-       KIA Rio - white

Four people I pass the chain to:

1-       Fadi K

2-       Ramroom

3-       Ohoud

4-       Salam

Ok sk8erboi, I hope you are satisfied now  :D

Today was my nephew's Birthday; he turned 5!

He called my mother two days ago and asked her to deliver a message to me and my sister; the message was that we should buy him gifts from a certain store and he should be there to choose the gift, brilliant ha?

So yesterday, we went to a kids store in Jebal Amman called Ali Baba; they have all costumes you can think of; Spiderman, Superman, Batman, etc. and a whole lot of toys and games.

He asked to get him a Spiderman scooter and that is exactly what I did. My sister got him an educational toy laptop according to his own request; and he told me that he wanted this specific gift because he likes my laptop!!

We threw him a nice party tonight and as usual; I would love to share the joy with the entire blogosphere; so there you go!

Happy Birthday Sign


Part of the decorations


Homemade Fruit Salad


Nice Black Forest


Birthday Boy (3ahed) holding a gift


I asked him about his age and that was his answer


He is happy with the scooter


Enjoying another gift


And another

Today was a very long day and we spent it making sweets we should have made before Eid. Yes, I am talking about Ka3k w Ma3mool!

My brother in law is leaving on Monday to the states to go back to his routine work life, and my sister decided to make some ka3k w ma3mool for him to take it with him for the family there. She asked me, my mother and my sisters for help and we gladly went to her place, helped her make them and got out with some nice sweets at the end of it.

I took the chance to capture some pictures while we were working and decided to share them with you, and no, my blog is not turning into a virtual cookbook … LOL!

Dates and ka3k (cookies) before shaping


Placing the date inside to crust to make ka3k (cookies)


Ka3k placed in baking tray after shaping them


Ka3k in the oven being baked


Out of the oven, hot and yummy!!


Another tray of Ma3mool with sugar on top


No more teasing ... this plate is going to Jeeran!!