They say: if you don’t want to feel disappointed, don’t raise your hopes or don’t even hope at all! Don’t expect much from others and you will not be subjected to one of the worst feelings ever existed; the feeling of being let down and deep disappointment.

No matter how hard we train ourselves to expect the worst for everything and everyone around us; we cannot but build a few hopes here and there. Unfortunately; people have made it an art to not meet others' expectations or fulfill their hopes.

Human psychology is so complicated and this shows in ways that are never predicted. Sometimes; you would believe that you are a good judge of character and that you can see through people to the extent that they can never deceive you, however; some people get to surprise you after all precautions and preparations.

We tend to think highly of people we like and we tend not to believe that they would ever let us down intentionally, but the fact forces itself on us once and again that these we care about so much might not feel the same about us and to them we are just another person passing their lives for one reason or another. Therefore; when they act with no consideration whatsoever to your feelings and/or reaction, you cannot help but feel the bitterness of disappointment.

What amazes me often that many people actually weigh and evaluate things from their own point of view only, without considering other factors; they only see what's in it for them and never think of consequences.

In this modern age where the machine is taking over many a role of people, we seem to have automated our own way of thinking; we seldom consider the human factor as human, and as the machine has calculated output whenever we give certain input, so should people. So if I was to give a machine the input of A and B, according to the calculations, predictions and equations, the machine must give an output of C and D, no tolerance for mistakes here because this is the way it is supposed to work, hence no disappointment from the outcome.

When dealing with people, it is juvenile to think that if I give a person the input of A and B, the outcome must be C and D, why? Because a human being is a bundle of feelings and emotions that are run by the most complicated machine; the brain; no two people are expected to give the same result and that is why some exceed our expectations and some actually disappoint us immensely.

How many times did we convince ourselves that X would never do this to me because he is my friend only to be surprised later that X was responsible for many of our own heartaches and setbacks? How many times did we give out of love only to be received with rejection and denial from those we care the most about?

These are everyday incidents and we have all suffered from such things at any point of our lives. Some of us have even vowed to themselves never to trust anyone again and to be very careful when dealing with others, but one of our most important features as humans is that we forget, sometimes it is a blessing to forget sour things but sometimes it is not wise to forget what stings like a bee; we should always remember how much it hurt when we let our guard down so that we will not be in the same position again.

From my own experience; no matter how nice others may seem, they are nice as long as you are of benefit to them, once this benefit is over; they really don’t have a reason to be nice to you and so they won't be.

I learned that when people want something from you, they will suck up to you and show you their best; once they get what they want; adios baby!

Disappointment is the thing that happens to newlyweds when they discover that the one they married is completely different from the one they fell in love with or were engaged to.

It is what happens to you when you have worked so hard on yourself to graduate and then once you achieve that, you don’t find practical life easy enough to live. It is what you feel when you cannot find a job and when you do and think that all your problems are over; they shock you with the bad treatment you will get and how they enslave you for the few bucks they give you.

Disappointment is a part of our lives and no matter how much it drags us down; we need to get up again and fight to live the kind of life we want. We cannot allow it to break us in half just because we are not strong enough or the shock was big enough. It is one of the many things that we as humans need to deal with and maybe the best way is precaution; always manage our expectations to take the good and the bad and never trust anyone too much because only those you trust are capable of hurting you so much.

It is a lot easier to neglect large people than to admit that they exist! How did I reach this realization you ask? Well, it is very easy; all you have to do is look around you and you will figure it out for yourself.

To clear any confusions in your minds; yes, I am talking about fat people, whether we use terms like large, overweight, obese, big … etc. this does not change the fact that we mean fat. So, let's call a spade a spade and hit the nail right on the head.

Let's look around us and see how fat people are treated in our society. More often than not, fat people are considered with no feelings or insensitive, because let's face it; if they had feelings at all, they wouldn't be fat to begin with, they would do their best to fit their bodies to fit in the community.

Let's go shopping; almost all stores in Amman don't have large or extra large sizes from their merchandize that is displayed. When you find a store once every blue moon that has such sizes; they are tailored for older ages and they are all in dark colors, therefore; fat people are left with three options:

1-      Accept whatever the stores throw at you and be grateful that you ever found anything at all; it is true that you will appear a lot older than you real age to which the weight added a few years already, but who is looking? You are not normal so you might as well admit it and move on.

2-      Don't accept to wear clothes that are good for your mother or grandmother and go tailor your own wardrobe. If you go downtown, you will find lots of stores that sell nice fabrics; you can choose your favorite colors and pay the stewardess a visit and make your own clothes.

3-      Don’t accept that you are different and keep looking for clothes in the stores. You want stylish clothes and you don’t want to surrender to the idea that these models do not fit your body type, so you settle for clothes one or two sizes smaller and you will look uglier than ever because you did not flatter your body by doing such actions.

Being fat in our part of the world means hearing remarks as you are walking down the street, being ogled at when you are eating, getting uncalled for advice from people and being fat deprives you from your rights of leading a normal life; you will not have the chance to love and be loved because who wants to be seen next to a fat person?

Let's take a look at relationships of fat people; almost always; fat people are the clowns of the group; they are the ones who always make fun of themselves, they are the first to laugh if someone dropped a joke about them and they never show that they got upset if someone offended them; after all; fat people are not supposed to have feelings, right?

Fat people are always judged by their size and shape; the majority of people do not pay attention to their personalities; if they had a personality to begin with; they wouldn't have been fat, right? This attitude is passed from one generation to another and we see that our kids are doing the exact same things we do; they treat their overweight counterparts as insensitive and objects for mockery and sarcasm!

Fat people are prejudiced all over the world, however; when we look at the west and how they deal with the issue, it is completely different than what we see in our part of the world. Not only they are treated as human at least formally, but obesity is now officially a disease and is covered by insurance. It is the No. 1 reason of deaths in USA and medical researchers are working on obesity causes and treatments exactly like they are working on any other fatal disease.

In our part of the world, obesity is considered a choice and that is why fat people are treated so badly. The majority of the people have convictions that fat people should be more decisive and determine to lose the weight and thin people almost always throw unwanted advice to them by saying: don't eat too much and you will lose weight.

Fat people hurt from the inside and do their best not to show so that they won't get more advice from those around them. At a certain point; they might even lose all control over their urges and their binging which will make things even worse.

Obesity and overweight have so many types and are caused by a different number of reasons. It is true that the most commonly known type is the one resulting from overeating or choosing the starch and fat rich foods as preferences, however; there are some clinical reasons that cause obesity and this one is the hardest and the most painful. A slight imbalance in the body hormones can cause obesity; certain medications have overweight as one of their most common side effects and emotional disturbance plays a major role in gaining or losing weight.

So, to all people out there reading these lines; cut fat people some slack; it does not make you a better person just because you weigh a lot less and it does not make them bad because they are fat. Also, don’t ever forget that regardless of their sizes; fat people are still human and have feelings that are more fragile than yours and they are easily hurt; their lack of self confidence makes them compensate for it with sharing people's jokes and laughs about them or even starting the joke themselves. They are self conscious and try to make up to their shortcomings by showing the world that they could care less.

Trust me when I tell you these things because I experienced them first hand and I know how it feels and how it hurts to be judged and prejudiced because of your size; it is really ironic how people consciously or subconsciously subtract the weight and size of your brain and experience from your overall size and weight!

Breaking habits is one of the most difficult things in life; it takes a lot of effort, energy, time and determination to break a habit you have. Habits become a second nature to us when we do them all the time and when one breaks them, there are withdrawal issues to deal with.

Sometimes; we are forced into adopting new habits and by default the old ones get out of the way given some time to pass. Other times; we are forced to stop doing something we are used to do because of circumstances and events of life. What is really interesting though; is the fact that when these circumstances are passed and over and you want to get back to your old routine, it is as difficult to get into a habit as it is to break one.

I haven't been functional in the blogosphere for the past couple of weeks because of my surgery. It is really funny how the human body is weak enough to make everything ache when one organ is hurt or wounded; as if this organ is getting all the support from other body parts to help it cope with the pain and heal faster. This is exactly what was happening to me the past couple of weeks; it seemed as if everything was put on hold till my wound is healed and here I am; although I am not 100% functional yet but I am at work and doing my best to get back into my real life one more time and I am telling you; this is not easy!

I thought I should start by writing a post on my blog to get things going again and maybe induce some refreshment in my daily routine. Needless to say; I would like to thank everyone that contacted me during my illness and wished me good health; thank you everyone!

I am almost back!

I have been away from the blogosphere and my favorite hobby of blogging for a whole week. The reason is that I have undergone a surgery on Saturday and I am home now; recovering!

Did I ever mention to you that I really do not like hospitals? I don’t like their smell, the staffs, the procedures, the medications, the needles … etc. But again; who does? But what I really don’t like the most is the obnoxious staffs and their mediocre or even below mediocre service, but I survived!

I will be back to my blog and readers soon; I just need some time to come back to life again. Right now; I am literally living on pain killers and sleeping most of the time, so ladies and gentlemen ... my friends; hang on and wait for more posts about this experience; I just felt like I needed to communicate with all of you because I really miss you!!

It seems to me that they hibernate right under your nose and at the first sign of warmth and heat, they go into feeding frenzy mode and they are all over you. No matter what you use from insecticides; they still find a way around it and get to your blood.

As mush as I hate these tiny pests; I am fascinated by their construction and persistence. As light and insignificant they are; they are more complicated than you think; just some of the strange facts about them; get this: mosquitoes are responsible for the most human deaths world-wide!

They prefer children to adults and blondes to brunettes; so the argument I used to get from my sisters was a valid one. You see, they have skin color that is way lighter than mine and you can say they tend to be blonde while I am a brunette, so it makes sense now.

Mosquitoes can detect a moving target that is 15 ft away! Can you imagine that? So if I was in a room and the mosquito was in the next room, it will detect my movement and come for my blood; talk about scary!

The average life span of the mosquito is 3 – 100 days and she is the blood sucker; on the other hand; her male peer has a life span of 10 – 20 days and does not suck blood; interesting, ha?

A mosquito can smell its live host (that is basically us humans or any live animals) from a distance of 20 – 35 m! Boy! We really don’t stand a chance with them.

Mosquitoes don't see very well, but they zoom in like a heat-seeking missile. In the spherical arrangement of their compound eyes, blind spots separate each eye from the next one. As a result, they can't see you until they are 30 feet (10 meters) away. Even then, they have trouble distinguishing you from any object of similar size and shape: tree stump, 55-gallon drum, etc. When they are 10 feet (3 meters) away they use extremely sensitive thermal receptors on the tip of their antennae to locate blood near the surface of the skin. The range of these receptors increases threefold when the humidity is high.

The most fascinating fact I learned about these creatures is that although they are into blood sucking; they do not transfer AIDS from someone infected to someone who is not. Studies with HIV clearly show that the virus responsible for the AIDS infection is regarded as food to the mosquito and is digested along with the blood meal.

Mosquitoes Do Not Ingest Enough HIV Particles to Transmit AIDS by Contamination.
An AIDS-free individual would have to be bitten by 10 million mosquitoes that had begun feeding on an AIDS carrier to receive a single unit of HIV from contaminated mosquito mouth parts. Most people have heard that mosquitoes regurgitate saliva before they feed, but are unaware that the food canal and salivary canal are separate passageways in the mosquito. The mosquito's feeding apparatus is an extremely complicated structure that is totally unlike the crude single-bore syringe. Unlike a syringe, the mosquito delivers salivary fluid through one passage and draws blood up another. As a result, the food canal is not flushed out like a used needle, and blood flow is always unidirectional. The mechanics involved in mosquito feeding are totally unlike the mechanisms employed by the drug user's needles. In short, mosquitoes are not flying hypodermic needles and a mosquito that disgorges saliva into your body is not flushing out the remnants of its last blood meal.

Ok! It is cool to learn more facts about these creatures that disrupt your sleep almost every night in the summer. They suck your blood and feed on it leaving you with a mark that can easily turn into a scar if you mess with it. To me; I would rather that the mosquito sucks my blood and leave me alone to go back to sleep than roam around my ear with this annoying wizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sound; what is it with mosquitoes and ears? Isn't it enough that they are feeding on us that they have to always rub it in? why do we have to be awake for them to get the job done? Damn! I really hate mosquitoes!!!

To read more about them; please click here and here

I have recently taken the course of Certified Project Management from IAPPM (International Association for Project & Program Management) in coordination with Modern Managers Chapter.

This was a very extensive course and the amount of information and skills that I gained are valuable and very useful.

What is great about this particular course is that it is very comprehensive and on a senior level of management.

I had to take a test to be certified and I am telling you; it was not easy. I had to sit there for three hours to answer the questions. The test consists of (88) questions and the trainee must get 75% of the test right in order to pass, i.e. (66) questions and I did it; I passed and am now officially a Certified Project Manager, which means; I can add the acronym to my name wherever I go, ehm ehm.

So I am now; Khalidah El Mufleh, CPM

You can check my name here along with the other successful CPM's.

I really won something!!

I won a mobile device from Radio Fann FM and Mobilecom … YAY!!!!

Update: I went to Radio Fann and they gave me a voucher ... then I went to Mobilecom and got the device when surprise surprise ... it comes with a line as well :)

Pretty cool ha??

Thank you everyone for your comments and I got the black one (for ghaloosh)

The first time I heard the term "Laughter Yoga", I went like: HUH!!!

I think some of you must have heard or even practiced laughter yoga, but let me share with you my own experience in this field.

A couple of years ago when I was living in Dubai, I was presented with an opportunity to participate in a laughter yoga session, and I was very excited at the prospect of trying something new. We were gathered in the front yard of a friend's house (and ex boss), and the instructors were at the very front. We were standing randomly in a group.

The instructor started out by explaining to us how laughter is known to help us relieve some of the internal stress that we suffer, and he also explained that analyzing the laughter act; it is a bunch of movements and acts that the body performs, hence we can actually practice it.

And then the session began.

We were instructed to start the laughter by bending our heads to the front and imitate laughter saying ho ho and then expand the arms as we raise our heads way to the back till we see the stars as we go ha ha ha, and repeat this till he tells us to stop.

At the beginning; it all seemed strange and I was uneasy about how stupid I must have looked ho ho'ing and ha ha ha'ing, but as he changed the exercises and varied the movements, we really picked up the pace and soon we were all moving around, facing all parties in the group as we continue to ho ho and ha ha ha. We were even given instructions to increase and decrease the pace of the ha ha ha, and before we knew it, we had been laughing our hearts out.

I remember this phone move!

By the time we finished, we were extremely exhausted, as if we had done heavy exercises but we were very happy and relieved.

I have to tell you that this experience was fantastic and I really wish we had it here so that I can go and do it all over again.

Laughter Yoga was started around 10 years ago in India by a Dr Madan Kataria and his wife Madhuri. Their initiative has extended to forming hundreds of laughter clubs around the world and they hold lots of events internationally; you can get all the exciting info here.

Founder and Co-founder of Laughter Yoga Organization

At the end of this post; I have to say: laughter is really one of the best medicines I have ever come across!!

i.e. I am at home and I am sick 

It all started out with a severe lack of sleep; and here we are thinking that this can never harm you, I mean:

فما أطال النوم عمراً ... ولا قصّر في الأعمار طول السهر

Unfortunately; science and nature tell us otherwise as lack of sleep can kill you if you are not careful.

Some would tell you that your biological clock might be out of control and that's because of the extra long vacation we just had. That would be so true if I did not suffer from the lack of sleep for a longer period than a week, so this theory is out of the question.

Another theory states that I am suffering from anxiety and over worrying. I can't deny that I have so much on my mind, but I don’t know for sure if this is what is keeping me up till the early hours of the morning; so this theory is a possibility.

Others would say that I am depressed and that is why I am not sleeping. Could this be true?

This made me google the physical signs of depression; to my shock, lack of sleep is also a symptom of depression along with other signs that I have, so this theory is also a possibility.

My boss told me yesterday that lack of sleep can weaken the immunity system in the body and that I will be susceptible to catch a cold or any other illness. I guess he was right because I am really sick.

Now I am sitting at home cause I could not go to work, and I feel like I have been hit by a train … fever and runny nose … BLEH

Do yourself a favor and get some good sleep every night … I learned this the hard way