We keep hearing companies repeating that one of their strengths is that they listen to their clients, but do they really hear what they are telling them? Do they care that sometimes what the client wants to buy is not exactly what they want to sell?

In all the management books I read; it is mentioned that to be a good leader you have to listen with empathy. I remember that during one of the courses that I have taken a couple of years ago, the instructor was this elderly guru who has developed many companies and helped others make it; he told us that God has given us two ears and one mouth because it is wiser to listen more than we talk; that’s called wisdom.

In sales courses I have learned that selling is not about talking and good salespeople are not those who talk a lot; great salespeople are those who listen to their clients and eventually give them what they need.

It is unfortunate that when people are listening to you, they are actually not listening to understand; they are listening to respond and that means they are thinking of their next response and not comprehending what you are saying; that’s why we get engaged in conversations that are unsatisfying and more often than not, they end with no result at all.

Have you ever thought about this? Could it be that people fail in negotiations because they fail to listen? Could it be that we keep losing clients because we don’t really listen to their needs? Are we obsessed with what we sell that we completely ignore what people are actually looking to buy?

These are all valid scenarios and maybe we are subconsciously screwing up our opportunities because we suck at this simple skill; listening. We believe that our way is ultimately the right way and no matter how others try to describe their way of thinking, they will never e able to convince us, because like us, they don’t listen.

Companies wonder why they are losing clients, managers are always shocked that they are losing employees because they think that they are the best managers and they give their employees everything they ask for, but do they really? How could that be the case if they are not even prepared to listen to their internal customers? When will they see that it is not “my way or the high way” any more; talents are very hard to find and it is even harder to retain them especially with the severe brain drain that our country is suffering from.

Why don’t we at least try to understand the other point of view? Why should there be a dominant opinion over others? Who said everyone must see the world from the same angle? When will we start listening to what others are trying to say?

If we think deeper, we will find that when spouses have problems, it is because they don’t listen to each other, and it is like a conflict where there should be a winner and a loser; if you ever read John Gray’s “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” you would understand what I a talking about here. Same applies between parents and children, professors (teachers) and students, managers and employees, leaders and followers, even between friends. The everlasting struggles that keep us thinking without any result, it causes fights and hot debates, when will people understand that it does not necessarily mean that I am against you if I don’t agree with what you believe in? could this happen one day???

Last week was awful; it was filled with disappointments and shocks from people I really thought highly of. It was a slow miserable week and it seemed that it was not going to ever end and I thought to myself: it will be over sooner or later so keep up girl!

I did not imagine that there could be something worse than last week, but this week is proving me wrong so far; maybe this whole month sucks or maybe my stars are just messed up and turning my days into a living hell.

Anyway; I think that one of the worst things that can ever happen to you is when someone you trust breaks a promise he made to you. As we get to know new people in our life, we grow to trust some of them, be it on a personal level or a business level; trust has proven to be one of the most important ingredients in communication recipe between individuals. In fact; I consider it to be the most important one.

Think about it; where would we be without trust? How would we live comfortably if we had to doubt everything and everyone around us? How would it be feasible for us to go on in life if we did not have people we can count on? If we think that our families and friends could double cross us any time, how would we deal with them? How can we move forward if we are paranoid of being stabbed in the back?

Trust is like an unwritten agreement between people; you don’t have to have a contract with everyone to be able to trust them, actually; I believe that if you do need such a piece of paper to reassure you, then this is the biggest proof that you do not trust these individuals and that’s why you needed what they promised you in writing so that you can hold them to it, you are expecting their double cross and you want to be prepared.

When you do trust someone; his word is enough and more binding than a thousand useless pieces of paper. They used to say that a man is bound by the words he says and they are considered commitments that he cannot and will not turn his back on. Men used words for business deals and the commitment was always: "I give you my word."

Of course when someone breaks up the promise; there is nothing you can do about it but it does not feel good, in fact it feels lousy and tastes like crap.

There are so many people out there who promise you so many things and give you their word for it, but they seldom come through, and when they do break their promises; their justification is that the agreement they had with you and have been going by for sometime now is not working for them any more and that’s why they are changing the rules of the game. You don’t like that? Well, tough luck dude; they call the shots and if you don’t accept it, the agreement is already broken and you are as worthless as the promise they gave you.

Sometimes I think to myself that most of the things that happen in my life should not happen in the first place and I wonder if it is my fault that they do happen; maybe I should stop being too nice as my ex-boss once told me; he said that my main problem in life is that I was too nice and that I should take courses on how to be tough with people. I really wonder if he was right all along.

Broken promises are in fact grounds for major break ups in relationships and arrangements, but it seems that honor is something of the past and one should not count on others' sense of decency and consideration. Such people are teaching us selfishness in its ugliest shapes and we all know that it is foolish and dumb to expect something to come out of selfish people because they only serve themselves and their own best interests regardless of how this might affect others.

Last night, I had a call from one of my best friends, in fact; she is my best friend and we go back a very long time. Not only she is my cousin, but she is my childhood companion and the only one I could and still can talk to without having to be careful about what comes out of my mouth.

No matter how long we stay away from each other and no matter how far our meetings are; when we do meet, it is like we have been together only yesterday. There would be no place for making each other feel bad because we don’t see each other that often like before; it is about making use of the current time and enjoying the moment while it lasts.

Once I read that your best friend is the one that you sit with for hours saying nothing and then walking away feeling that you just had the best conversation in your life. This is exactly how I feel about her; sure we had our ups and downs and we had our conflicts and fights but the only thing that these incidents left in our minds is the memory of how we made up each and every time and how we got back stronger than before.

Many people tried to come between us and break us apart but they could not; they used to build wedges by gossiping and making up stories to drift us away from each other but we always found our way back, and that is to each other.

She called me last night because she had read my last article "Disappointment" and she was stuck with one idea; could I be talking about my relationship with her? Could it be that I feel that we don’t see each other that often because I believe that she does not need me anymore and that’s why she is not in touch? My article brought many questions to her mind, but she did not keep those questions to herself and start to pile assumptions and realizations on them; instead; she made use of our transparent relationship and called me to talk about it.

I would like to thank her deeply for doing so because I realize now that many people from those who read the article might have gotten out with the same result, but the casualty of our relationships did not urge them to come to me directly and clarify the whole thing and that is why I am writing these lines.

Sometimes you go through an incident that makes you want to talk and shout your frustration to the whole world; blogs have made that easier for us because they are one of the venting methods one can use to release some of the frustration and bitterness. However; when you blog with your own identity and your blog is somewhat popular and read by most; it makes it very difficult to blog about certain things and makes it even impossible to explicitly talk about certain issues, so what is one to do in this case?

The only way out is to make the topic as general as possible to get the idea out there without making any hints to the individuals who triggered the whole thing, and you hope that they will get the idea without you having to put the word out there for everyone to see.

Some of you might wonder; if you are brave enough to post with your real identity, what are the issues that you cannot or will not talk about? And why would you even care?

I will tell you why.

We are parts of bigger groups or entities or communities … etc. and when you are recognized as part of such backgrounds, you are obliged to maintain their images in front of the public and you cannot defame them on your blog or anyone else's. Without clarifying further; sometimes you are forced to use metaphors or general ideas to get your conviction out there and it is up to readers to get the idea or brush it off.

To my best friend who has made up my day yesterday and brought tears to my eyes when she said that we will always be best friends, to her; you are my soul mate and you are the only one in the world that I can turn to and pour my heart out without any fears of being judged. You keep my secret and you share my happiness and sorrow; I will always be there for you no matter where I was.

I love you!

They say: if you don’t want to feel disappointed, don’t raise your hopes or don’t even hope at all! Don’t expect much from others and you will not be subjected to one of the worst feelings ever existed; the feeling of being let down and deep disappointment.

No matter how hard we train ourselves to expect the worst for everything and everyone around us; we cannot but build a few hopes here and there. Unfortunately; people have made it an art to not meet others' expectations or fulfill their hopes.

Human psychology is so complicated and this shows in ways that are never predicted. Sometimes; you would believe that you are a good judge of character and that you can see through people to the extent that they can never deceive you, however; some people get to surprise you after all precautions and preparations.

We tend to think highly of people we like and we tend not to believe that they would ever let us down intentionally, but the fact forces itself on us once and again that these we care about so much might not feel the same about us and to them we are just another person passing their lives for one reason or another. Therefore; when they act with no consideration whatsoever to your feelings and/or reaction, you cannot help but feel the bitterness of disappointment.

What amazes me often that many people actually weigh and evaluate things from their own point of view only, without considering other factors; they only see what's in it for them and never think of consequences.

In this modern age where the machine is taking over many a role of people, we seem to have automated our own way of thinking; we seldom consider the human factor as human, and as the machine has calculated output whenever we give certain input, so should people. So if I was to give a machine the input of A and B, according to the calculations, predictions and equations, the machine must give an output of C and D, no tolerance for mistakes here because this is the way it is supposed to work, hence no disappointment from the outcome.

When dealing with people, it is juvenile to think that if I give a person the input of A and B, the outcome must be C and D, why? Because a human being is a bundle of feelings and emotions that are run by the most complicated machine; the brain; no two people are expected to give the same result and that is why some exceed our expectations and some actually disappoint us immensely.

How many times did we convince ourselves that X would never do this to me because he is my friend only to be surprised later that X was responsible for many of our own heartaches and setbacks? How many times did we give out of love only to be received with rejection and denial from those we care the most about?

These are everyday incidents and we have all suffered from such things at any point of our lives. Some of us have even vowed to themselves never to trust anyone again and to be very careful when dealing with others, but one of our most important features as humans is that we forget, sometimes it is a blessing to forget sour things but sometimes it is not wise to forget what stings like a bee; we should always remember how much it hurt when we let our guard down so that we will not be in the same position again.

From my own experience; no matter how nice others may seem, they are nice as long as you are of benefit to them, once this benefit is over; they really don’t have a reason to be nice to you and so they won't be.

I learned that when people want something from you, they will suck up to you and show you their best; once they get what they want; adios baby!

Disappointment is the thing that happens to newlyweds when they discover that the one they married is completely different from the one they fell in love with or were engaged to.

It is what happens to you when you have worked so hard on yourself to graduate and then once you achieve that, you don’t find practical life easy enough to live. It is what you feel when you cannot find a job and when you do and think that all your problems are over; they shock you with the bad treatment you will get and how they enslave you for the few bucks they give you.

Disappointment is a part of our lives and no matter how much it drags us down; we need to get up again and fight to live the kind of life we want. We cannot allow it to break us in half just because we are not strong enough or the shock was big enough. It is one of the many things that we as humans need to deal with and maybe the best way is precaution; always manage our expectations to take the good and the bad and never trust anyone too much because only those you trust are capable of hurting you so much.

It is a lot easier to neglect large people than to admit that they exist! How did I reach this realization you ask? Well, it is very easy; all you have to do is look around you and you will figure it out for yourself.

To clear any confusions in your minds; yes, I am talking about fat people, whether we use terms like large, overweight, obese, big … etc. this does not change the fact that we mean fat. So, let's call a spade a spade and hit the nail right on the head.

Let's look around us and see how fat people are treated in our society. More often than not, fat people are considered with no feelings or insensitive, because let's face it; if they had feelings at all, they wouldn't be fat to begin with, they would do their best to fit their bodies to fit in the community.

Let's go shopping; almost all stores in Amman don't have large or extra large sizes from their merchandize that is displayed. When you find a store once every blue moon that has such sizes; they are tailored for older ages and they are all in dark colors, therefore; fat people are left with three options:

1-      Accept whatever the stores throw at you and be grateful that you ever found anything at all; it is true that you will appear a lot older than you real age to which the weight added a few years already, but who is looking? You are not normal so you might as well admit it and move on.

2-      Don't accept to wear clothes that are good for your mother or grandmother and go tailor your own wardrobe. If you go downtown, you will find lots of stores that sell nice fabrics; you can choose your favorite colors and pay the stewardess a visit and make your own clothes.

3-      Don’t accept that you are different and keep looking for clothes in the stores. You want stylish clothes and you don’t want to surrender to the idea that these models do not fit your body type, so you settle for clothes one or two sizes smaller and you will look uglier than ever because you did not flatter your body by doing such actions.

Being fat in our part of the world means hearing remarks as you are walking down the street, being ogled at when you are eating, getting uncalled for advice from people and being fat deprives you from your rights of leading a normal life; you will not have the chance to love and be loved because who wants to be seen next to a fat person?

Let's take a look at relationships of fat people; almost always; fat people are the clowns of the group; they are the ones who always make fun of themselves, they are the first to laugh if someone dropped a joke about them and they never show that they got upset if someone offended them; after all; fat people are not supposed to have feelings, right?

Fat people are always judged by their size and shape; the majority of people do not pay attention to their personalities; if they had a personality to begin with; they wouldn't have been fat, right? This attitude is passed from one generation to another and we see that our kids are doing the exact same things we do; they treat their overweight counterparts as insensitive and objects for mockery and sarcasm!

Fat people are prejudiced all over the world, however; when we look at the west and how they deal with the issue, it is completely different than what we see in our part of the world. Not only they are treated as human at least formally, but obesity is now officially a disease and is covered by insurance. It is the No. 1 reason of deaths in USA and medical researchers are working on obesity causes and treatments exactly like they are working on any other fatal disease.

In our part of the world, obesity is considered a choice and that is why fat people are treated so badly. The majority of the people have convictions that fat people should be more decisive and determine to lose the weight and thin people almost always throw unwanted advice to them by saying: don't eat too much and you will lose weight.

Fat people hurt from the inside and do their best not to show so that they won't get more advice from those around them. At a certain point; they might even lose all control over their urges and their binging which will make things even worse.

Obesity and overweight have so many types and are caused by a different number of reasons. It is true that the most commonly known type is the one resulting from overeating or choosing the starch and fat rich foods as preferences, however; there are some clinical reasons that cause obesity and this one is the hardest and the most painful. A slight imbalance in the body hormones can cause obesity; certain medications have overweight as one of their most common side effects and emotional disturbance plays a major role in gaining or losing weight.

So, to all people out there reading these lines; cut fat people some slack; it does not make you a better person just because you weigh a lot less and it does not make them bad because they are fat. Also, don’t ever forget that regardless of their sizes; fat people are still human and have feelings that are more fragile than yours and they are easily hurt; their lack of self confidence makes them compensate for it with sharing people's jokes and laughs about them or even starting the joke themselves. They are self conscious and try to make up to their shortcomings by showing the world that they could care less.

Trust me when I tell you these things because I experienced them first hand and I know how it feels and how it hurts to be judged and prejudiced because of your size; it is really ironic how people consciously or subconsciously subtract the weight and size of your brain and experience from your overall size and weight!

How many times we heard or said that little things do matter and do make a big difference? How many times we saw big changes happen from small twists of faith? How many movies did Hollywood produce to prove that if you can go back in time and change a tiny detail in events, the whole future will alter and turns of events would differ?

Such concepts really fascinate me, because there is nothing absolute in this live. Nothing is 100% right as well as nothing is 100% wrong. Something might be so insignificant to you but could change someone else's life altogether. What you consider to be a big problem and a tragedy in your life might be an everyday event in another part of the world.

Look around the world and look around you, we can say that we are luckier than a large span of the whole wide world. It is true that others' misfortunes make you count your own blessings and look at your life from a different perspective.

From the blessings that I have counted in my life; I can see, hear, talk, smell and touch. I have two loving parents and a great family; blessed with a brother, four sisters and seven nieces and nephews. I have a roof over my head; I have clean clothes to wear and a nice comfortable bed to sleep on. I had the opportunity to get the best education and I did get great education. I have food on my table every day and hunger was never a part of my life. I have a car and I get to drive freely. I have a job in a great company and I enjoy the company of wonderful colleagues. I get to live in my home country, enjoy my freedom and live in dignity. My country is safe to live and is governed by laws to protect citizens. I have a great faith and I get to thank God for all these blessings and more.  

Somewhere around the world; there are a lot of people living in misery, war and hunger. They don’t have a constant supply of food; they live day to day. Lots of children do not have mothers or fathers or neither; they don’t get to experience the love of the family and are deprived the opportunity to get education and live in dignity. A lot of people are in a continuous fight for their own lives and their children's. A lot of women get raped and their privacies are invaded in the cruelest way; their lives get shattered in minutes and they are killed afterwards or left scarred with so many physical and mental wounds that will never heal. Some people's biggest worry is how to provide food on the table for the next meal. A lot of people fight death, hunger, occupation, sickness … etc.

Two completely different pictures; two worlds under the same sky sharing the same air; same people here and there; they all cry when sad and smile when happy, they all worry for their kids and the future, they all sleep and wake the same, they all feel fear and pain, they all fall in love the same and most importantly; when they die they die the same as their souls leave their bodies for the last time!

All religions; all prophets taught us that the fortunate must share some of his fortune with the unlucky or less blessed. To acquire a balance in this life; we must learn how to give as much as we learn how to take. God has blessed us with so many things but what are we doing to show our gratitude for all these blessings? Is it enough to pray and say thank you God for everything that you have given me? Is this what God wants us to do? Isn't it a valid point that God has given us so much to pass the blessings to others?

Somewhere in the world; $75 can put someone in a private school for a whole year. This amount of money can be only a lunch bill for a couple or a group of people. What are we doing to give back God and show gratitude? How are we helping to make the world a better place to live in? People die around the world as we indulge in big parties and pour so much in empty celebrations. While we worry what toys to get our kids in their birthdays; other kids do not get a warm loving hug because they don’t have parents; they only think of a loving tap on the shoulder and toys are an impossible dream.

Inspired by Sarah Mclachlan who changed the lives of one million people around the world in just three minutes; inspired by the touching song and video she made; my words come to you in hope they might touch your hearts as much as this work of art has touched me. Under the title "World on Fire", Sarah shot the clip of this song in a $15 cost when a real clip would cost $150,000. Where did the rest of the money go? They changed the lives of one million people around the world.

Listen to the song here and check where the money went here.

The question is now; what can WE do to help and how? Why don’t we start something to help in our own community? There are so many people who could use our help and I am sure that we all can afford to spare something and help the poor and unlucky to get better chances in life and create better futures for them and their families.

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: "مثل المؤمنين في توادهم وتراحمهم كمثل الجسد إذا اشتكى منه عضو تداعى له سائر الجسد بالسهر والحمى" (البخاري ومسلم)

Our Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) said:  “The similitude of the believers in regard to mutual love, affection and mutual-compassion is that of one body; when any limb of it aches, the whole body shares the agony, sleeplessness and fever that arises from it.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim).

My least favorite season of the year is here and I am sweating already. I have always been a winter person; I love the rain and the cold weather. I have always said to myself that if you ever get cold, you can put on some warm clothes, you can sit near the heating source or you can tuck yourself under covers, but what can you do when you get hot? You cannot remove your own skin, now can you?

If my memory serves me; the weather was not always this hot! The summer was somewhat tolerable, but now it seems that noon is the minute we open our eyes in the morning and I am always inclined to say that I go out of the house at 7:30 noon time and not morning time because this is how it feels.

The moment I enter my car in the morning; it is boiling inside and I really need a few minutes to get used to the heated seat and steering wheel; sometimes I cannot even touch it because it is too hot. Thank God I have a conditioned car.

When I was a little girl; my dad used to take us to picnics in the summer. We used to choose spots under trees and spend the day playing games, singing and of course BBQ'ing. Sometimes we went to the sea or the hot springs where we swam almost all day long; what a refreshing feeling.

As grown ups now; we spend our weekdays behind desks in closed office rooms, some of which are not air conditioned and you are stuck with heat coming from the outside and the inside because of breath and heat generated by machines; not attractive.

What I like about summer though is the many fruits that fill the shelves of supermarkets. Summer fruits are juicy, sweet and full of useful fibers. Nothing compares to a slice of cold watermelon in a hot day, or a plate full of different kinds of fruits to allow you to pick and choose.

Cold drinks and juices are another great option to help you deal with the hot weather. Imagine yourself walking down the street in a very hot day; what is the first thing that comes to your mind? A glass of icy water or cold juice? Maybe a slush is the best choice here!

What about ice cream? I really love ice cream in all shapes, flavors and colors. I am prepared to have it any time, summer or winter. Whoever invented ice cream was a genius and applaud him for this great product. I am sad that we cannot get to Jerard's that easy these days, don’t you love their ice cream?

Swimming is another option but only when you have the time. Unfortunately; we don’t have a beach in Amman; I really wish we had because swimming would be a lot better than closed swimming pools scattered here and there. Not all of these pools are clean, not all of them are suitable and we don’t even have enough time in the day to have this luxury. That’s why when I was in Aqaba last August; I really did not want to get out of the water!

Thankfully; I have air conditioning in my car and in my office, yet I am ranting about the heat because I really can't take it. I really feel for people who are forced to conduct their work out in the open under the angry sun; these people really suffer from the heat and sometimes do not even have the time to do something about it; for example stop for a cold drink or sit in the shade.

The minute I saw Hajaj's caricature in the newspaper today; it inspired me to post about the heat and here I am sharing it with everyone. This guy really expresses my thoughts!

It’s June, it’s summer time and from the early hours of the day, the sun is shining so hard and the heat is rising every minute. You get up in the morning after a long hot night full of battles with mosquitoes; you take a shower, get ready for the day and then head out in the overheated car to start your lovely summer day!

It is obvious that I am not that fond of summer; in fact; the heat kind of suffocates me and I think I become irrational when the atmosphere is overheated; I can’t help it; I just feel so edgy. However; what I am about to talk about here is not the heat and the elevated temperatures we are experiencing; this post is dedicated for summer sense of style!

The sun is high up in the sky and up goes with it sleeves and skirts and shirts; it seems that everything is shrinking up!

I am sure that each and every one of us takes a look around and sees how girls and elderly women just started to show up as much meat as possible in these sunny days that we are going through. I am sure that some of you might say: so what? What makes you talk about this? What annoys you in short skirts, sleeveless shirts, spaghetti strap tops … etc.? Well; I will tell you!

It is only logical that one should wear something that fits what he/she is doing. You just don’t see a guy wearing some shorts to a meeting, now do you? So why is it that we see girls wearing these revealing provocative clothes for such occasion? You just don’t see a guy’s underwear flashing you in the face while at a business conference, so why is it that whenever you turn your head here or there you get flashed with a bra strap or worse; a thong?? When did it become ok to see someone’s bellybutton or cleavage while you are attending a course or a lecture or simply having lunch in the middle of the day?

Sometimes it is not suitable and it even lacks taste to wear such things for formal occasions and it is distracting. You reveal more than you seal and then you curse these boys for sneaking looks you have already invited them to take. You do not put something out in the open and then feel upset and offended when someone looks at it; I mean was not that the point you put them on display in the first place??

I get it! Some girls have the assets that make them attractive and beautiful and some attention would not harm anyone, but what about those who do not have what it takes to make them pass as gorgeous and yet still flash the world with less than ugly scenes? Isn’t it enough that we have to deal with the good ones to have to deal with the bad ones? I mean; for God’s sake, wear something suitable for your size, age, status … etc.

If you are a large girl, please do not wear tight clothes; it hurts bad enough to see these tight clothes on skinny chicks and they do not look good. If you are old enough to be a mother and in your late thirties or forties, please wear your age because fitting yourself in these shiny small pieces is not flattering at all.

If you were not blessed with a shiny white skin, maybe orange or lime green is just not your color, so why insist on wearing it?

Who was the first one who came up with this style or lack of it for that matter? It is not ok or cool to wear beach clothes for work, it is not ok or cool to reveal more than you seal as you are walking down the streets and then cry out your frustration of these men who cannot control themselves, it is not ok or cool to wear clothes that are too tight or too small or do not fit your age. It is not ok or cool to make chiffon a part of your daily wardrobe because its suitable time and place is parties.

Please don’t tell me that this is the followed trend and that you just go for it without thinking. If one day you walk in the grocery store to find that the latest trend in the food market is to eat flavored poison, would you go for it just because it is the trend?

Summer girls; please have mercy because this is getting way out of hand!

It is not a secret that unemployment is one of the major problems in Jordan. This is a topic that has been discussed many times and it touches the lives of almost everyone in this country.

The percentage of educated individuals is continuously increasing and the number of schools and universities is on the rise as well; this is one of the successful trades and business models in Jordan and despite that the education fees are exploding every year; more students are enrolling and more graduates are pouring the workforce on yearly basis. However; the business market takes its need from fresh graduates which is only a fraction of the real number, leaving the rest of the graduates to fall in the trap of unemployment and total dependency on one's parents till a miracle happens.

We cannot put all the blame on the business sectors; job seekers must bare their share of the responsibility and blame.

First of all; the expectations of these students are not being managed properly; there is no career consulting services in universities; one that prepares students for the real world, so the student approaches senior year with high hopes piling up in his mind and heart to own the world upon graduation.

Of course; it would be unrealistic to think that all graduates will find opportunities on the spot and start their working life immediately after leaving university; only the lucky ones get such golden opportunities and get ahead of the others. On the other hand; our typical Jordanian student does not want to put any effort to put his/her first step on the ladder and they think that graduating is good enough to be chosen for any job they apply for when by far it is not.

In our culture; there are many factors that play major roles in forming this phenomenon; to name a few; culture focusing on shame, spoiled kids, unmanaged expectations, lack of student preparation to the working life and many others.

A thought comes to my mind as I write this; we are raising our kids to be dependent, we do not teach them to be responsible since early age, accountability has no known meaning in our lives and we do not prepare them to be the future men and women. Since early age; we do everything for our children and we give them everything they need when they need it; all they have to do is ask and they get it without putting any effort or doing anything. The idea that someone has to work in order to get something is not a factor in the way we raise the future generation and by not doing so, we are preparing them to fail, not to succeed.

One of the things that we make sure our kids must know; is that there are ranks and levels in the community. Some jobs are just considered low level and they are interconnected with poverty and shameful roles; they are beneath our sons and daughters and unconsciously we teach them to disrespect those who perform them and consider them beneath us as individuals when all people are supposed to be equal. They grow up thinking of the garbage guy as someone who is needy enough to accept this role and they forget that without him, we wouldn't have a clean city to brag about.

We teach them that it is more important how people perceive you than making a living; so in their mindset; it is ok to stay jobless for years than to work in a construction site or as a waiter, driver, guard or any other low level job.

Mothers work hard to add a prefix to their children's names as if they would not be proud of them or love them the same if they grew up to be just them. Unconditional love is a concept that we don’t recognize and we grew up to believe that if I am not successful enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, handsome enough, whatever enough, people would not love or accept us and we continue to pass this myth from one generation to another.

I can continue to rant forever about this issue, but it would be pointless if no one will hear. If we continue to put more weight on people's opinions in what we do and how we live our lives, we will never rise up to everyone's expectations and standards, hence; we continue to stress ourselves with imaginary standards that we must meet, turning our lives into a rat race, but one that has no finish line.

It is not shameful to work, it is not shameful to start somewhere, it is shameful though; to continue to be a dependent person living off the effort of others, it is also shameful to look down on people who proudly handle jobs we consider beneath us because without their work, our lives would never be the same.

Today is the day you must wake up Jordan and do something to build a better tomorrow!

It is summer time again and the season is taking people by a craze. A lot of people, couples mainly, have been waiting impatiently for the summer because it is the time of the year when families reunite and the fun begins; there is no better time to tie the knot and finally get married.

Not a single day passes by without receiving an invitation card to attend a wedding of a relative, friend, coworker or even an acquaintance. The funny thing is that you are always expected to attend because this is what the social etiquette tells us to do. Once you subconsciously make the decision to attend, you need a new dress, a beauty salon hair style and makeup and above all, you need to extend a suitable gift.

All this is great when you really care about those getting married, but what happens when you know them only casually, or they are family friends that you probably won’t ever see again in your lifetime? What then? Should you or should you not go?

Every time I attend a wedding, I come out with the same conclusion; what a waste of money!!

So what does make a typical wedding in Amman???

Let’s forget about the residence and its furnishing, rent and whatever a house needs for a moment, and let’s just focus on the wedding party itself.

In order to have a wedding like the daughter of aunti Suha or even a better one than that of the son of 3ammo Jamal; you need to make sure that you have the following:

You need a royal wedding dress. When I say royal; I mean it, you hear me? I mean it! It has to be of silky fabric and hand decorated. The corset and skirt need to make you look like a princess; anything less than that and you will look so poor and as if you had rented the thing, shame on you!

For your groom; you need a suite of a tycoon. Shoes must match. It has to be the right size; that’s why you have to have it tailored especially for him. All accessories must be bought from global brand names because people can tell the difference you know! The tie, cufflinks and tie pin should all be original.

Now you need someone like Marwan Kheir to give you the princess look. The wedding dress will not do you much good if not matched with a great hairstyle and a makeup that hides all your face imperfections and make you look like a movie star.

Let’s talk about the party!

First of all; it has to be in a five stars hotel, because that’s where your friend Soso had her wedding last year. Flowers should be everywhere and it must be natural flowers; we don’t want people to think that we are vulgar and do not know how to plan a great wedding party. As for music, it must be the best DJ in town or better yet; get one of the hot shot performers out there; Haifa would make the wedding memorable if only she was not more beautiful than you; people will forget about you and will keep staring at her and we don’t want that on your own wedding, so it is much better to get a guy. Also a belly dancer is out of the question because we don’t want her to steal the lights now, do we?

Now, what about the buffet? It has include various dishes because people have different tastes, we don’t want them to say we are mean, so make sure you include Jordanian, Syrian, Lebanese, Egyptian, Italian, Chinese, and maybe some Indian and don’t forget about desserts. Speaking of desserts, the wedding cake should be different because it reflects your taste and identity so don’t be typical!

All that and I still did not mention the ring/”shabkeh” and the bedroom furniture as these should be out of the way by now!

Is the period of 4-5 hours worth all that? Do people get high on spending their money that way? Does all this make him a better guy or her a better lady? Will this help them face the first few months of their married life when they get to know each other? Will that make them a happier couple?

No wonder that more guys are choosing to wait longer before falling in the trap of marriage and no wonder that more girls are entering the world of spinsterhood! I say it is a trap because that’s all what guys see, they do not see a woman they love and want to be with her no matter what, rather they see an empty bank account and probably a load of loans to be paid back; trust me, this is no way to start a life!

If love really existed between couples, none of these empty “keeping up appearances” actions would make any difference to them. They would take the money they have and go launch their life as a couple on a far island where they can spend a few days away from people and really make happy memories and lots of pictures to document them.

To me, a wedding is nothing more than dressing simple, having your closest family and friends around you and then a great long honeymoon, now that’s what I call a great wedding and that is exactly why I have boycotted all the weddings I get invited to, unless it was someone very special or if I had to attend.