Continued …

She sat there in the darkness of her suddenly cold room, she hugged herself and stared in the nothing around her; what has just happened? Did she just get dumped, and over the phone? Why didn't he wait to talk to her face to face? Is it shame of what he was going to do to her? Or is just lack of courtesy? Was he that much of a jerk?

What was she feeling?

She could not define the feelings that she was having. It seemed like a ton of emotions were fighting inside her small heart; hurt, shock, pain, loss, rejection, anger and deep sorrow. She was getting dizzy with all the turmoil inside her soul and for a brief moment she wished that it was just a nightmare, but being the realistic person she was, she knew that she was not imagining things and that there is a new reality forcing itself on her world; he left her for another woman!

She did not care if that woman was more beautiful or more intelligent or more exciting or more whatever; all she thought about was that if he had really loved her like he said he did; all the women on earth would not have made a difference to him.

She tried not to think, she did not want to be reactive, she is not like that and she didn't see any point of taking any action now. If she decided to fight for her love, was it going to be worth it? She would be fighting him because he is the one saying that he does not love her any more; the other lady is just his way out; actually; it does not really matter if he really loved that other woman or not as that’s beside the point, the point is; he was able to leave her, he took his time to think and decide not even considering for a minute to make her feel that he is withdrawing, he kept his old self the same and that’s why she did not see it coming.

She was numb. Days and nights passed by and she did not even try to think about it, she told herself over and over that she must move on, and what does not kill her only makes her stronger, was she stronger? She did not allow herself to experience moments of weakness, she had to find new things to do to fill her empty time. How could he have had time to love someone else when most of his time was with her? She did not want to go there; she did not want to think of him any more.

Some days were smooth, some were heavy and slow; moving on is not as easy as it seems, it needs a lot of changes and the most important thing about these changes is moving away from anything that reminds you of what you are moving on from. She is doing that but he isn't; why does he keep calling her? She does not answer his calls and yet he keeps calling. She thought about changing her number but then decided not to; she has nothing to run away from and she will not allow him to affect her life after he chose to exit from it.

Calls were not enough; short messages, emails and any available communication method; he used them all with no response from her, till that day many months later, when she found him standing in the doorway of her office; her reaction was not what he expected; it was obvious that he did not find what he was looking for in her eyes. The passionate look he was used to see in her eyes was replaced by a cold empty one. His eyes were searching for something familiar about her, but he could not find it.

She got up from her desk, shook his extended hand with a poker face expression on her face. He could not tell what she was feeling.

How are you, he said.

I am fine thank you, she said.

Why don’t you answer my calls and messages? He asked.

I have nothing to say to you, she said.

I have a lot to say to you, he said.

Really? Like what? She asked.

I wanted to say that I am so sorry, he said.

Aha, she said.

And that I was a fool and a jerk, he said.

….

I have hurt the most beautiful and kindest person that ever came in my life, I hate myself for hurting you, he said.

….

You are the best thing that ever happened to me, he said.

She was silent and has the same empty look in her eyes and saying nothing.

You are the only woman I have ever loved, he said.

She looked at him raising her brows.

I know that I have no right to say these things to you now, and that I have screwed up, he said, I am a fool and a jerk and still love you.

….

She did not mean anything to me, he said, I thought I loved her but when I lost you, I realized that you are the one for me, can you forgive me?

….

How can I ever make it up to you? He asked, I have tried to reach you many times to tell you that …

Is this some kind of a game to you? She said, one day you love her and the other you love me?

No, I love you, he said, I never loved her …

You loved her enough to leave me, she said, and now you leave her for me? What makes you think that you can do that? Or that I will accept this childish behavior?

If you love me, he said, you will not waste our only chance in happiness …

I think I will pass this happiness, she said, you will not find what you are looking for with me; that time also has passed.

What about the love that we had? He asked.

That had no value for you a few months ago, she said, I would be a fool to hold on to something of no value, you should know me better.

I want you in my life, he said, I need you, even if as a friend.

I don’t need you, she said, I wish you luck in finding what you are looking for.

You are killing me with your words, he said, please don’t kill the hope and the happiness that we can have together, I love you, don’t you get it?

What I get, she said, is that you never loved me, you loved yourself with me, you loved how I made you feel about yourself, you loved what you were when we were together, and when I was no longer there, you missed the feeling and you came back looking for it. Once you have that feeling, I will be a friend material allover again and you will be on your way looking for another love or wife material. What makes you think I will allow that to happen? All these months; I prevented myself from thinking and wondering about why you did it, only now I know why, and you know what? I am finally free of you …

She stood up and left the room with a smile on her face … it's good to be free!!

If only we say what we mean … and mean what we say!!

She sat there … trying to busy herself with anything … waiting really can kill you; that’s what she was thinking. He said that he was going to call; he told her that he will be going out with his friends and once he is home; he was going to call her no matter what the time was; he said: don’t sleep because I want to talk to you!

She was staring at the TV screen but was not seeing what was on; her mind was elsewhere. She was thinking; what does he want to talk about? In the years I have known him, he never insisted on anything like that, so it must be very important and I am getting worried cause it is getting late; I wonder what is keeping him … maybe he is still out with his friends; I will wait for a while longer.

She remembered when they were friends at the beginning of this relationship; they used to talk for hours; he would talk about all his problems and she would listen carefully to give him good advice. She was always conservative in talking about her problems because she did not want to burden him more; he has enough on his mind, she thought. They talked about almost everything; the communication between them was fun and easy, she could listen to him forever. They used to laugh and joke and even sing together.

They knew each other so well, she thought. She was happy that she has such a good friend when one day he decided to change that; he told her that he can't imagine his life without her and that he is thinking of her all the time. He said she was beautiful and fun; he never felt this way about anyone before.

She knew where this was heading and she tried to tell him that she was afraid of it. He told her not to worry and to let herself go with her feelings. She told him she was not ready for a relationship and that they should not rush. He said he loved her, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She remembered how that felt, when he said he loved her for the first time; she felt her heart sink right to her feet and it was beating so hard; she could hear it in her head. Yet; she was still too afraid to give in and embrace the feeling.

He said that he loved her so many times that she could not resist any more and started letting all her guards down. She knew deep inside that she loved him, but the feeling was terrifying her. She was in love with him and she allowed herself to be taken by the emotions, to be blinded by the passion and she fell into him. She was happy with him, but recently; they were fighting over silly things and she reasoned that it must be his work or his family and she tried to cool things every time there was a fight.

She came back to present tearing herself from her deeper thoughts and memories only to realize that it is past midnight and he still did not call her. Now, she was really worried and decided that she would try calling him just to check if everything was alright with him.

She dialed the number that was carved in her brain and waited. No answer!!

She thought; I hope that he is OK.

She dialed again; he answered with a sleepy voice. She asked if he was asleep; isn't it obvious that I am sleeping? He said.

Did you forget that you asked me to wait for your call? She said.

Oh, that. Sorry, I forgot, he said.

You forgot? You are the one who wanted to talk to me and it sounded very important, and I did not want to call you while you were with your friends; I know how much you hate that. But when I realized how late it was, I was worried and called to check if all is ok. You forgot? Anyway; now that we are talking, what did you want to tell me? She said.

Well, I was thinking lately, he said.

Aha, she said, go on.

Listen, he said, I care about you so much, but I don’t think that you are the right person for me. I thought about this many times and I don’t see you as my wife; I see you as my best friend, but not my wife.

She was trying to say something, but her screams and cries were silent.

Are you there? He asked.

No answer.

I am so sorry, he said, but I can't keep this for myself any longer. You are a great person and a very beautiful woman, but I just can't see us together, I am sorry … please try to understand …

Who is she? She asked

No answer

The least you can do is be honest, she said, you owe me that much.

She is a new girl at the office, he said, I don’t know how it happened, but …

Toot … toot … toot …

Do you ever wonder what a small gesture you make can affect someone else's day or opinion or even life? Do you ever pay attention to the small reactions that your acts induce in others? Have you ever been affected by someone's small gesture?

Today I was going through some of the blogs that I read, and this particular post stopped me and made me read it more than once, and it is really admirable how the author was able to describe the feeling in a very accurate way.

This particular incident that happened to the author of the blog made me think of something similar that happened to me today. I was going through my email with thousands of things on my mind; it almost felt like the load of the whole world was on my shoulders. Don’t you go through similar moments? When you feel like nothing can make you happy and that you are feeling down towards everything around you?

That is exactly how I felt today when I was going through my email inbox and trying to see if there were any messages I needed to answer or some spam I needed to report, and there it was; an unexpected message from a friend, just saying hi and that he is thinking of me.

I could not believe how this simple letter lifted my spirit and made me think of how little can content a human being and make him smile. This very small and nice gesture drew a smile on my face and distracted me from the many serious things I was thinking and worrying about.

Whether the small gesture is an email, a smile, a phone call, SMS or a very simple empty nod; it is certain that it will affect someone and change the direction of their thinking even for a short moment.

I remember when I was watching the movie "Angel Eyes", and when Jennifer Lopez and Jim Caviezel were walking down the street, and he was nodding to people and smiling to them; she asked him how he knew all these people, and he answered that he did not know them. She asked him how he was nodding and smiling to these strangers and his simple answer that it was very easy and that she should try it. Once she did, she said she felt like an idiot but was happy and smiling because she actually made these people smile.

I am not saying that you go around in the street smiling at people, because in Jordan; they will definitely think you are nuts, but for those around you, always remember that the smallest gesture can hold a huge meaning to others and this little effort does not cost you anything or exhaust you, so be generous and extend hope to those who might be in need for a glimpse of it.

When are we going to finally learn that there is no excuse for bad manners whatsoever? Seriously; there is no excuse for bad manners and it is about time we know this and act on it; enough is enough!

I am ranting today about people invading my privacy and forcing themselves on my day without being announced or seeking permission!

I hate it when you barge in my room without knocking no matter who you are to me!

I hate it when you knock and barge in without waiting for me to give you the OK to come in!

I hate it when show up on my doorstep unannounced and expect me to be happy about it!

I hate it when you provide unsolicited advice and expect me to abide by it just because you gave it!

I hate it when you underestimate my intelligence and lie to my face!

I hate it when you give me a missed call and expect me to call you back; I pay my phone bills too!!

I hate it when you don’t say "please" when you ask me for something or a favor; don’t take me for granted!

I hate it when you talk behind my back and bad mouth me; if you have something to say about me; say it to my face if you have the guts; otherwise; shut the heck up!

I hate it when you interrupt me while I am talking; I listen to you and the least you could do is reciprocate!

I hate it when you ogle me and give the disgusted look; if you don’t like my appearance or what I am wearing; turn your eyes the other way and don’t look at me!

I hate it when you stare at me; didn't your mom teach that staring is rude?

I hate it when you don’t watch what you are saying; you might be hurting people more than you can imagine!

I hate it when you borrow something and don’t return it; there is a big difference between borrowing and taking; look it up in the dictionary!

I can go on and end up with a huge list of things I hate and bad manners that people adopt in their daily life. I do my best to be very polite and very diplomatic in my behavior and dealings with others, so how come this is not the norm?

Isn't it from the ABC of raising a child, teaching them good manners and how to treat others? Why do people neglect this extremely important aspect of fitting in community?

In the society I grew up in; I used to see mothers sending their kids out to play with others armed with an attitude; if someone hit you, hit them back! If they call you bad names, do the same! If they give you a nickname mocking something about you, do the same to them!

It is an eye to eye upbringing and what we end up learning is pure bad manners. We start doing it as a self defense technique but without us even realizing, it becomes a part of our personalities and we can't extract it easily.

All our memories from our school days are about how we used to laugh at the teacher behind her back, and what names we used to call her. We did not talk to some of the classmates because we did not like how they looked or appeared. We only hung out with individuals who share the same nature, and we ganged up against others for one reason or another. Some were the school bullies and some were the victims.

You teach your kids good manners and tell them that they should be polite and forgiving, but the problem is that when they are faced with someone who mastered bad manners, and your kids end up being the victims if they don’t take on the same bad manners you were trying to save them from.

It is a community effort and each one of us should start with him/herself. Just remember that there is no excuse for bad manners and there is always a good polite way to do things, and you will be just fine, and others around you will be grateful!

A couple of days ago; I posted about the traditional method of getting married in our culture; to be more specific; I wanted to point out how this method is being abused and how it gives a bad outcome in the end.

I received so many comments from readers who are totally for this method, and some who were against it.

I guess I have to clarify where I stand from this whole thing. If it has always been done this way; it does not mean that it is right or wrong, because as my friend Ohoud commented: it is not a black and white thing.

In the past; bride and groom did not even see each other till the wedding night; and they accepted their fates with open hearts and moved on; had children and lived their lives normally. But let's not forget that the times have truly changed; back in those days; women had to totally cover up when they go out and they were usually escorted by a male figure or an elder female.

As time and cultures evolved; girls were allowed to pursue education and they started going to schools and bit by bit; they did not need to cover up like before which allowed members of community to see them and maybe talk to them.

Despite all this evolution; mothers were dominant when it came to choosing brides for their beloved sons. Some women took this as a profession and they acted as matchmakers or "khatba". They used to go from house to house; showing photos of girls to the mothers men seeking marriage, and for a small fee; she acted as the intermediary between families till the marriage took place.

But time continued to evolve; new habits were being introduced into our closed culture over and over, and that is because we got exposed to western cultures through the occupation that lasted long years and through those who traveled abroad and came back with new visions of the future and started changing things. Mingling became a part of modern society and it was not that taboo to know someone before proposing to her.

The question is: why is this one thing not changing?

It perplexes me how men know many girls and then when it comes to marriage; none of them is good enough. Just how many times we heard the excuse: "if she went out with me, she went out with others and I want someone who never knew anyone other than me." How egocentric and arrogant is that?

OK, so not all men are like that, but what is the percentage of those who are? If the same guys who are open to having a girlfriend choose traditional as their way of getting married, then there is something wrong with the picture, right?

Some argue that there are difficulties meeting girls. Let me assume away that this is true, and the poor guys are not finding Ms. Perfect; not at university, work, gym, clubs, coffee shops, malls, movie theatres, … shall I go on? They can't find someone in all these places and their only hope is picking one from a pile of photos or through the eyes of their mothers. If the men were shy and not out there changing girlfriends like changing mobile phones; I would say: yes, they are right, they are not able to find a good girl because there is not enough choices, but this applies to a very small percentage of men; the majority want it all, they want to have fun and always have a female figure in their lives, and when the times comes and they are ready to tie the knot; it has to be someone who is very pure and does not see any other man in the world but them.

I am not generalizing; I am simply describing a phenomenon that is there and no one can deny that it does exist. So when I say that men and women enter the relationships for the very wrong reasons; this is exactly what I mean; men want fun and women want husbands; the two objectives will never meet.

Traditional method can be a good model but only if it is done right. The comments on my previous posts made me ask myself: am I anti-traditional or anti-marriage altogether?

I will tell you one thing though: I will never marry a guy based on a 2-hour interview; heck you can't even hire someone based on one interview, how about spending the rest of your life with them?

Many of the comments stated: traditional marriages do work most of the time; but are we sure that they do? Check the chat rooms and see for yourself how many married men are seeking discreet relationships with other women because they are not happy and feel that they made a mistake when they married someone they did not know. You would be shocked to learn that these men are willing to have affairs just to feel good about themselves, and when asked why they don’t communicate with their wives; mostly the answer is: she does not understand me.

At the same time; you will find many desperate housewives seeking understanding and intimacy from other men who usually take advantage of their weaknesses and vulnerability, which explains the rates of infidelity that are growing higher in our part of the world. Is this the definition of working marriages? Of course this is not the general rule, but we cannot deny that this is happening.

I'd rather stay single than get caught in a marriage with a husband that feels trapped with me and seeks solace with another woman no matter how innocent their relationship might be.

So you are a guy and you are now ready to get married and start a family, and from ALL the girlfriends you had; none was good enough to be your wife; what would you do? What is the next step in your life?

You go to mommy dearest and ask her to find you a bride; she asks you to describe your wife to be, and you start taking her through your preference list or wish list of physical and spiritual characteristics of Mrs. You.

It is your mom's job now to work hard to find you the perfect match and when she does, she shows you the photos of the lucky wifey nominees with you being the only and ultimate judge to pick the finalists.

But let me not be very harsh on you here; you need to really see those nominees and sit with them for an hour or two before you make your mind and give the final verdict. So your mom sets out to work again to get appointments with the families for you to go and pay them a visit which in most cases is a chaperoned short visit.

You start your exhausting mission going from one house to another, trying to figure out which one of them fulfills that maximum number of preferences from the list, and you disqualify some of them and some are kept pending till further notice.

Once you have short listed them to a few or a couple, you may take another visit to make sure that you are on the right track. You keep this on until you finally decide on who the lucky lady is; and you go back to her house; armed with your charm and good reputation, and you make your position stronger by taking family members with you, and you pop the question to the lady and ask her dad for her hand in marriage.

Of course they will be ready for such a request but the cliché has to be performed once and again, and then ladies and gentlemen; I present to you Mr. and Mrs. You!

Can anyone tell me what is wrong with the described scenario? I really don’t believe how men put themselves and others through this, and how they take a life altering decision based on imaginary preferences. How do they know what they want? How can they tell that they ended up with the right match? How do they predict that this will be a successful marriage? Or is it all a game of luck?

We watch the stupid show Joe Millionaire, with a big scam of a handsome guy who does exactly what men are doing; he courts, flirts and dances with the ladies and at the end of each week, he short lists them even more. The game goes on and on till he is down to 2 girls, at which time he needs to give the final verdict as to who the lucky girl is. The difference is that this Joe guy tells the disqualified girls why they were dismissed from the competition, but in the real world, the girls are kept wondering what went wrong and thinking that it is their fault that "3arees el ghafleh" never came back or called.

I know that some of you guys out there would want to attack me for my cynicism about this issue, but it really gets to me how some guys put themselves and others in such a position without any considerations to the harmful consequences that might occur.

You might say that some of these arranged marriages do work in the end, but how confident are we that the relationship is successful or just hanging in there because of the culture, kids or whatever reason there might be? How confident are we that these same men are regretting the way they chose their lifelong partner and wish that time would go back to change things? How confident are we that these couples have common language between them? How confident are we that they are loyal towards each other?

In my opinion; this is a huge risk that both are taking, and please don’t tell me that they will be engaged and can test their feelings and compatibility, because we all know that it never worked and that the engagement period is the time when each of them is at their very best, showing only the good part of things and compiling all the bad things till after marriage. No wonder many couples go through post honeymoon shock or post-wedding depression as it is medically defined.

Newsflash; this is not a game; this is a lifetime commitment that one cannot break without consequences, and it cannot be erased from your life. Maybe it is about time we gave mommy dearest some time off, and married someone that we can talk to and relate to on the long run. The dating game is going so far with the way we lead our lives to the extent that both genders are taking relationships among them way too lightly and entering these relationships for the wrong reasons.

Last month I posted about an article I read in Living Well magazine and how it irritated me that some men are really shallow and see only looks when they see women. I received some good feedback from readers on that post.

I was about to lose hope that we still have a few good men left and that is when VIVA saved the day. Through their corner; VIVALOCAL, they conducted some interviews with real bachelors who give a right definition to the word.

What I liked about this article is that it was concise and to the point. The interviews were not unnecessarily long; they were short and clear leaving no space for confusion in answering them.

Reading through the set of questions; you notice that they are not concentrating on one aspect of characteristics; rather they provide a short comprehensive description of the dream lady for these men. What is even more evident is that these men are describing a lady they would actually marry and spend the rest of their lives with, and not just a girlfriend for the next few months or so if she was lucky.

The interviewed men reflected maturity through their answers and this makes them all the more attractive and eligible if you ask me as who would want to spend her life with a kid?

I found the article to be lighthearted and here is a briefing of the questions that were asked;

1. The guys were asked to give a brief description of their own personalities highlighting the most important traits.
2. They were asked how and where they spend their free time which gives a better idea about who they really are.
3. What are their favorite places to dine out?
4. What is their biggest pet reeve in general?
5. What makes their day?
6. What is the first thing he notices in a woman? (not necessarily physical)
7. They were asked to describe their leading lady from all aspects.
8. What is the best way to meet her?
9. What is their biggest turn off?
10. What makes them melt?
11. What confuses them?
12. They were asked to send out a message to the ladies out there.

These 12 questions revealed how deep and genuine the interviewees are and they gave them a good opportunity to explain to the real ladies out there what men of today are actually looking for in a wife and not just a girlfriend.

My personal favorite of this list was the message that each sent out to the ladies out there; they were heart moving and I am listing them here in case you haven't read the Feb issue of VIVA magazine; I suggest that you go out there and buy it now!

First gentleman's message was: "Life is too short, so enjoy every moment. Try not to get bent out of shape about the small things." This indicates that he is go getter type that makes life easier for those around him; not bad at all!

Second gentleman's message was: "I wish women out there would understand that men are different creatures. When you trim your hair, please don’t get upset when we don’t comment on it. We really just don’t see these things." What this tells me is that he is not looking for the silly shallow type of women who only care about tiny details like this; he is looking for an intellectual lady and lucky she would be.

Third gentleman's message was: "I don’t understand it when women only show you their good side in the beginning, and then they flip. It's better to be consistent." I like this message very much as it shows he is a clear person and seeks the same from his partner; no lies and no scams; it is kind of hard to find such a guy these days.

Fourth gentleman's message was: "If I love someone, then I will accept her as she is, without any modifications. Love is a 'take it or leave it' deal." This one is on the top of my list, because is shows great self confidence that he reflects and that he is secure enough to accept his lady like she is; I wish me one of those really!

Fifth gentleman's message was that he is a 'going all out' type of person and says: "I once moved from the US to Europe for a woman." Who said romance was dead?

Sixth gentleman's message was that he is the 'walking through fire' type of person and says: "I'd do anything for a woman I cared about – with limits, of course! I wouldn't stand under her window and serenade her! I'd need to learn to play the guitar first anyway." A realistic guy with a sense of humor; this is a great combination if you ask me.

Seventh gentleman's message was: "No games please!" and he says: "I don’t like it when women play hard to get; I prefer honesty. There's no time for games." This guy knows what he wants and seeks a lady that knows what she wants in life and in a partner; I wish women appreciate this type a little more!

Eighth gentleman's message was that what gets him is: "Definitely red roses." Again, who said romance was dead?

Ninth and last gentleman's message was: "I'd do absolutely anything for a woman I love. I don’t let go easily." A persistent non-quitter; ah; every woman's dream; a guy who would fight for her!

VIVA, thank you for showing us the other side of the coin and for proving that there is still hope after all for women of strength and intellect to find the right match from our own great Jordanian men, and to all the men who were featured in the article; I wish you the best of luck in finding your dream ladies, and thank you for the good image that we have now about you.  

This morning, I was met by an article in Al-Ghad newspaper stating that a laughter club is being established in Jordan. At a first glance; one would think: there are more important things that we need to address, but come to think of it; this might be indeed what we need the most.

We have been born and brought up in a society that does not support laughter that much and we have always been accused of being uptight and always frowning; sometimes we even believed such claims, and this caused us to eliminate laughter from our daily routine.

An example of this Jordanian phenomenon is the phrase that we repeated over and over by our parents; laughter without reason is a sign of rudeness. Another example is the fact that we repeat the same pray after we laugh hard for any reason; we say: may God send us the blessing of this laughter.

The above examples are a clear sign that we don’t know how to loosen up; we are always uptight and afraid that we might not be taken seriously if we were smiling and laughing most of the time. To an extent; this might be valid in our community, however; how long are we going to continue adopting this epidemic behavior? When will we realize that lack of laughter might be literally killing us slowly?

A while ago; I posted about laughter yoga and I even contacted Dr. Kataria (founder of laughter yoga) and asked him about the possibility of holding such an event in Jordan. The possibility is there but I need people to buy into it in order to make it happen, or have a certain party sponsor such an event; any suggestions?

It is good that we take our lives and works seriously, but the problem is that we are taking ourselves a bit too seriously and maybe it is time to loosen up and instill some laughter here and there; who knows?

For ages; scientists and doctors of medicine lectured us about the importance of laughter and how it can cure some diseases, and now; we have laughter therapy which in my opinion is not less important than any other type of therapy out there, so why are we sill not convinced? And why is it that we still consider laughter as a sign of cultural misconduct?

I find laughter as a real aid in helping me take life in general and I made it a point to get a daily joke in my email or at least have a good light hearted laugh with colleagues, friends and family; trust me; try it and you will love it.

So if you ask me; I think we really need some excitement in our lives, and if this can be achieved by establishing a club for laughter; I say: be it, well done and thank you!

Begin your laughter journey by laughing at yourself and your own mistakes; I have come to learn that this is a sign of maturity and self confidence.  

Why don’t we know how to count our blessings? Doesn't it strike you time and time again how we don’t really realize how good the situation we are in until it is gone?

Instead of looking at what we have, we look at what we don’t have. Instead of counting the things that we should be thankful for, we count the things that if we had we will be happier or feel better about ourselves or our lives.

I guess that it is true after all that we don’t appreciate something unless it is missing from our lives, and what makes things even more critical is that we miss it more when we see others enjoying it without any effort as if things come to them without them having to work for it.

The irony in this whole thing is that those people might be looking at us and saying to themselves that we are luckier than them because of things that we have and they don’t.

Why can't we just be thankful for what we have? Why don’t we consider ourselves lucky for the things that others consider us lucky for having? Is the grass really greener on the other side? Or is it just our eyes and brains that make us see it so?

You ask a single girl and she says she really dreams and wishes to get married, and when you ask a married lady, she says single girls are lucky for being single and on their own. I guess there is always something to complain about.

It is like we wake up in the morning and think to ourselves: what are we going to complain about today?

Life is a long journey; it takes us places we never dreamed of; some are good and some are not that good, but we get out every time with a new experience or knowledge. Maybe if we looked closer, we would discover that we get out with a blessing as well, but we don’t know how to count them or even recognize them. 

If you want to know what sight is, ask a blind person. If you want to know what hearing is, ask a deaf person. If you want to know what life is, ask someone who had just escaped death.

We have to learn how to be thankful and grateful for what we have and for the people that we love. We should always tell them how much we love them and what they mean to us, because we might never get another chance.

For the past month; we have said, heard and read so many words. We have followed the news on TV, radio, online, newspapers and on all sorts of media that we could get our hands or eyes on. The question is; what now? What is next?

Seriously; we all agreed on certain points and conflicted on others. We heard the opinions of both sides.

It is quite evident that we have a clash of civilizations and no one is able to evaluate the other point of view; simply because each are using their set of standards to weigh the others' actions and reactions, and this technique is doomed to failure; it is like two people are trying to communicate with one speaking Chinese and the other speaking French, they don’t get the other language and they start shouting at each other as if they spoke louder and shouted higher, the other would finally figure out what the words mean.

Having said that and got it out of the way, what are we going to do next?

It is not enough to write about the incident and discuss it within the blogosphere; we really need to reach those who are not getting our messages, I mean; what is the point of sending out a message if it is not reaching its destination?

We are locked behind our screens, expressing our opinions to those who share them with a slight difference in point of views, but the rest of the world is like a boiling pot, and some parties found this as a great opportunity to add wood to the fire to keep the pot in boiling state, and I afraid if no reasonable action is taken; it will eventually reach the explosion and there is no telling what the consequences might be.

What can we do? Is word all what we have? How can we reach the angry crowds and inject some sense into them? How can we reach the other side and show them the real face of us; the educated sophisticated people that want to make a change? How can we do this change?

Since actions speak louder than words; it is really a mind trigger to think about which action is speaking louder here. Is it the negative or positive actions on each side? If you ask me; it is the negative on both sides. I don’t see any positive action being taken in the right direction to solve this global crisis, and it is a chain reaction that will continue to snowball and grow bigger if it is not stopped and prevented from going further.